Sunday, November 29, 2009

What Part of "Closed" Are We Not Getting Here?

Look, people, I know the 4-day Thanksgiving weekend is still in force, but we are on the last day here.

And I don't mind you calling me for legitimate emergencies. It's part of the job, and I signed up for it.

My office message still says "We're closed, please call back during regular office hours for routine matters."

So please stop leaving messages like:

"Hi, are you open today?"

"I thought it was Monday, isn't it?"

"Can someone call me with your phone number?" (DUH! YOU JUST CALLED ME!)

"Is my MRI on Thursday or Friday?"

"Did I miss my appointment 2 weeks ago?"

"Can I find your office on Mapquest?"

"What kind of doctor is Dr. Grumpy?"

"Can I have my driver's license back so I can go Christmas shopping?"

At 8:30 a.m. tomorrow morning the phones will be rolled back, and you can start hassling Mary and Annie for questions about your tests, appointments, insurance authorizations, good shopping deals, safe ways to hang lights, and a myriad of other questions.

Thank you.


ERP said...

Are you sure these were not all your sundowning Alzheimer's patients calling?

Jennifer George said...

So do you get to take people's drivers license when they're unfit to drive? Sweet!

ER's Mom said...

I just got paged to make an ER f/u appt. I told her to call tomorrow.

They are everywhere.

Sevesteen said...

You need a way to bill $10 per call--that will sort true emergencies from the other stuff.

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

Oh for the love of Pete. People are so stupid.

Anonymous said...

What you need is a way to allow people to leave non urgent messages.

If you are truly getting this many messages, I think some of them probably don't expect anyone to actually listen to the message on Monday but are probably expecting a phone call from the office staff during business hours.

kate sweeten said...

I changed the message at the doctor's office that I work in to say something similar - I also posted signs for a good two weeks before Thanksgiving to inform our patients that we wouldn't be here...and I still came in this morning to a nearly full voicemail box of stupid ass questions and screaming threats about what heartless bastards we must be to ignore a message for four days (you mean, the message that you left on Thanksgiving about needing a med refill before the END OF THE YEAR - not immeditely - not even by the end of November, but by the end of 2009 - after listening to my VERY detailed message about how we wouldn't be here on Thursday because of that pesky holiday and all messages would be returned Monday? Of course that's the one). Our patients baffle me.

My favorite voicemail from the weekend? "Hey! Hey, you! It's not the's the - wait! What the hell is this..? I don't even know what I'm doin'..." *click*

Anonymous said...

I worked Thanksgiving day, we were busy as hell because half the people didnt even know it was a holiday. Signed, hospital and big clinic operator. But I did get a free cafeteria turkey dinner.

Anonymous said...

lol doesn't get much better in vet clinics, I promise.
although we do get some interesting holiday phone calls, like the one about a chihuahua getting into a tin can full of nicotine tabs...and the owner was just absolutely sure the can was sealed tight. now really?

PharmdUGA said...

Seriously, how do you refrain from smacking these people upside the head?

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