You Idiot

Dr. Grumpy: "At your last visit I started you on Neurontin for the pain. How's it working?"

Mr. Idiot: "It works fine, but I don't like the side effects."

Dr. Grumpy: "What kind of side effects are you having?"

Mr. Idiot: "If I stop taking it, the pain comes back."

Progress Note Addendum

William, a medical student, has submitted the following, more detailed, chart for your perusal.

I still think we neurologists should have a special "Freaks and Greeks" heading for our field, though.

Thank you, William!

(click to enlarge)

Why Did You Decide To Become a Neurologist?

I get that question a lot, people wondering why I'm a doctor, how I got into neurology, if this is my real hair or just a cheap rug, and... but I digress.

Anyway, I'd like to present this flow chart which explains the complex process by which a medical student (sort of like a stem cell) eventually transforms into their specific field. It was sent to me by an anonymous reader, so thank you whoever you are.

You'll notice neurology isn't listed here, likely due to space constraints. I'd put it somewhere under internal medicine, with a special "Freaks and Geeks" section leading to my field.

(click to enlarge)

Turkee and Grayvie! Yum!

Alright, my kids school district sent a flyer home with them tonight.

They're having a Thanksgiving lunch next week, and are inviting parents to join their kids at it. The flyer included the following:


"Please join you child during they're regular lunch schedule"

"Includes choice of desert" (Sonoran? Sahara? Gobi?)

"Sliced turkey brest"

Holy Electric Boner Batman!

The Science Marches on Department has brought the following medical research breakthrough to my attention:


Penile Shockwave Therapy Shows Promise For Erectile Dysfunction

Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:38pm EST
By Jill Stein

LYON, FRANCE (Reuters Health) - It sounds painful, but shockwave therapy may be an effective treatment for men who suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED), according to a small study showcased here at the European Society for Sexual Medicine.

Focused shockwaves, generated by a special machine, is an established method of breaking up kidney stones. In patients with heart disease, shockwave therapy is being increasingly used to grow blood vessels.

"If the therapy can work in the small vessels of the heart, we felt that it might work in the penis because most patients with erectile dysfunction have vascular (blood vessel) problems," Dr. Yoram Vardi, from Rambam Medical Center in Haifa, Israel, told Reuters Health.

Vardi and colleagues tested their low-intensity shockwave protocol in 20 men with mild or moderate ED caused by reduced blood flow in the penis.

All of the men underwent a three-week course of two weekly treatment sessions and a second identical round of shockwave therapy starting three weeks later. During each treatment session, low-energy shockwave therapy was applied to different areas of the penis for a few minutes.

Erectile function, assessed at the time of enrollment and four weeks after the end of treatment, improved significantly in 15 of the men, Vardi and colleagues found.

There were no side effects related to the treatment.

Although not presented at the meeting, six-month follow-up data show that 12 of the 15 patients who significantly improved with treatment said they no longer needed to use Viagra or a similar agent to treat their ED.

While drugs like Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis are "extremely effective at treating ED, they only provide functional improvement," Vardi noted. Shockwave therapy "could potentially be useful to most ED patients," the researcher said.

Consumer Warnings

I'm just going to put these up, since so many of you are emailing them to me, anyway.


1. Costco and Coke are currently having a tiff over money, and so Costco may not be stocking my beloved Diet Coke in the future. This will force me to stock-up at Local Grocey (I generally refuse to go to Sam's Club / Walmart for fear of someone taking my picture). Hopefully they will be able to settle this.


2. There is a SERIOUS nationwide Eggo waffle shortage. I am not making this up:


Kellogg Fights Waffle Shortage

Nov. 18, 2009 02:12 PM

Associated Press

ATLANTA - Dear Kellogg: Leggo my Eggo!

Kellogg Co. says there will be a nationwide shortage of its popular Eggo frozen waffles until next summer because of interruptions in production at two of the four plants that make them.

The company's Atlanta plant was shut down for an undisclosed period by a September storm that dumped historic amounts of rain in the area.

Meanwhile, several production lines at its largest bakery in Rossville, Tenn. are closed indefinitely for repairs.

Company spokeswoman Kris Charles says it will take until the middle of 2010 before shelves around the country are stocked at pre-shutdown levels.

Already customers are noticing near-empty Eggo shelves on the freezer aisle at many grocery stores. They are lamenting the shortage on blogs, Twitter and Facebook.

Thursday Morning 2:48 a.m.

Today's Quiz

I (and most of my neighborhood) were blasted out of bed this morning.

I was woken by:

A. Phone call from a deranged patient.

B. Phone call from a frantic ER doc.

C. Phone call from a bored nurse.

D. My 8-year-old son Craig, who for whatever reason thought it would be funny to turn on his CD player in the middle of the night, playing "YMCA" at full volume.

(If you guessed "D", congratulations! And I had no idea Mrs. Grumpy and the neighbors even read this).

It's fun to stay at the...