Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Helpful

Actual fax received at my office:



Monday, July 9, 2018

Annie's desk

Annie: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Annie."

Mr. Tush: "I'm really not happy about this whole situation."

Annie: "Okay, what is..."

Mr. Tush: "Now they're telling me that my insurance may not cover the colonoscopy at all, and I can't afford this, so really don't want to go ahead with it."

Annie: "I think..."

Mr. Tush: "LISTEN TO ME! I'm not done yet. This is stupid. I'd never have agreed to go ahead with the colonoscopy except the doctor told me it was needed. I'm not going to pay for this and I want to cancel the whole thing. It's crazy that you people..."

Annie: "Sir..."

Mr. Tush: "NO! YOU LISTEN FOR A CHANGE. I didn't really want the colonoscopy, and now I find out it may not be covered, and..."

Annie: "LISTEN!"

Mr. Tush: "WHAT?"

Annie: "This is Dr. Grumpy's office. He doesn't do colonoscopies. You've called the wrong office."


Pause


"Well, shit. Sorry about that."

Click

Friday, July 6, 2018

Cue the "Jeopardy" theme

Dr. Grumpy: "Do you have a medication list?"

Mr. Time: "Nope, I know everything I'm taking."

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, what are you on?"

Mr. Time: "The first one begins with 'T' and has a lot of letters."

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

July 4, 1939




"Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. I have been in ballparks for seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans.

Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn’t consider it the highlight of his career just to associate with them for even one day? Sure, I’m lucky. Who wouldn’t consider it an honor to have known Jacob Ruppert? Also, the builder of baseball’s greatest empire, Ed Barrow? To have spent six years with that wonderful little fellow, Miller Huggins? Then to have spent the next nine years with that outstanding leader, that smart student of psychology, the best manager in baseball today, Joe McCarthy? Sure, I'm lucky.

When the New York Giants, a team you would give your right arm to beat, and vice versa, sends you a gift — that’s something. When everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats remember you with trophies — that’s something. When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter — that's something. When you have a father and a mother who work all their lives so that you can have an education and build your body — it's a blessing. When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed — that's the finest I know.

So I close in saying that I might have been given a bad break, but I've got an awful lot to live for. Thank you."



-Lou Gehrig, terminally ill at age 36 with ALS (aka Motor Neuron Disease), in his retirement speech. He died less than 2 years later.

This is likely the worst disease in neurology, if not all of medicine. It's been 200 years since the first published report on it, and effective treatment remains a mystery.

If you're looking for a cause to give money to, consider the ALS Association.
 
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