Penile Shockwave Therapy Shows Promise For Erectile Dysfunction
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Holy Electric Boner Batman!
Penile Shockwave Therapy Shows Promise For Erectile Dysfunction
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The Science Marches on Department has brought the following medical research breakthrough to my attention:
Penile Shockwave Therapy Shows Promise For Erectile Dysfunction
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Penile Shockwave Therapy Shows Promise For Erectile Dysfunction
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
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Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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25 comments:
I notice there are no comments...all the men must be cringing and crossing their legs which is affecting their typing.
Actually, Mari-Ann, it's only been up on the site for 9 minutes. Give it time.
Call me a sick woman, but I actually starting laughing. Not sure why. (I might be evil.)
I'm thinking/hoping there's some concious sedation going on here...'cause I can't imagine any person, much less a penile-pain-paranoid male doing this fully alert.
Drugs only provide "functional improvement"? Lord, I wouldn't want any man I was even moderately fond of to go through shockwave therapy if he was already "functional".
my insurance will not pay for the shock therapy. They only pay for popcycle sticks and duct tape :(
"It may sound painful"????? Ya think?????
Good golly miss molly!!!!
I notice there is no mention of any pain or discomfort during the treatment --- it SOUNDS like it would be uncomfortable, and I'd imagine a guy would have to be really desperate to try something that sounds so, uh, personally painful!
Funny how this kind of research always seems to happen in Haifa, which isn't exactly the most happening city in Israel. I can just see this:
Yoram: "Hey, Yuval, it's Friday night. Wanna go do something?"
Yuval: "Sure. Let's go down to the port and look at the cranes."
Yoram: "We do that every week."
Yuval: "So what do you suggest?"
Yoram: "Hmmm...I wonder what would happen if I took these electrodes, and stuck them on my dick...?"
Man, I'd hate to be the evaluator that assessed their "improved function".
-Flavius
15 out of 20 showed improvement - don't they really mean, 15 out of 20 came back a second time???
Curing humanity of its ills one shock at a time!
no one is attaching electrodes to my hoo haa!
Yeah, but what if a battery powered device malfunctioned, with the same effect?
Nothing like Jump starting your Junk. Sign me up.
Hey doc, when you get time, pop over and read my post today.
Best "Dr. Grumpy" post title ever!!
And they say women go to extremes O_o
This sounds like the origin story for a superhero:
"Willie Slack was just an ordinary mild-mannered pizza delivery boy, until one day, while on a late-night delivery to a secret government weapons lab, he used what he thought was a urinal but was actually a high-powered shockwave generator and was transformed into...
CAPTAIN BONER !
Now he uses his superpowers to fight crime and satisfy lonely housewives, but he has to beware of his archenemy, the Cockblocker!"
Rambam Medical Center? I feel like there is no more aptly-named place to do ED research.. except maybe Thankumam Memorial Hospital.
Although it makes for funnier and shocking comments I dont believe the method uses -electrical- shocks.
The shockwaves are high intensity vibrations (ultrasound), at least that is what is used for breaking up kidney stones.
Of course "high intensity vibrations" can probably be twisted for a bit humor as well...
The following punchlines are submitted for approval:
So that's what they mean by barbecued weiners.
Shock the monkey, indeed.
That's one magic Johnson.
Yeah, I've got your extension cord, RIGHT HERE!
Hang on a second, baby, I gotta recharge.
It ain't the condom that's glowing in the dark, hon.
It keeps going, and going, and going . . .
CLEAR!
I've used a shockwave machine on horses, mostly for tendon or ligament injuries. The model I've used is very loud and the head vibrates, which some patients may find alarming. I've tried it myself on my own elbow, which ached a little before it went numb (the elbow was very sore initially, and I think the ESWT ultimately helped). Probably wouldn't recommend the higher settings for use in sensitive areas - not sure about lower settings (don't have a penis myself; those who do can comment). Would mostly be interested in convincing evidence that ESWT actually helped this problem. It has a reputation for being something of a gadget in search of applications, at least in veterinary circles.
That doesn't sound nearly as bad as Caverject.
New fetish sub-culture anyone? (And yes, i'm guessing it's probably not a "new" one but i really, really don't want to know!)
Better living through electricity.
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying...
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