Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Whatever

Mr. Mesial: "I had another seizure on Sunday morning."

Dr. Grumpy: "What happened?"

Mr. Mesial: "One of my buddies had a bachelor party on Saturday, and I stayed up late and forgot to take my medication."

Dr. Grumpy: "It sounds like that's the cause."

Mr. Mesial: "Um, actually no. I think it's punishment."

Dr. Grumpy: "Punishment?"

Mr. Mesial: "Well, when I was in church later on I realized it was because I had impure thoughts about the stripper we'd hired."

20 comments:

Francine said...

At least he's honest!! :-p

Cthulhu Sashimi said...

"What, like you've never hired YOUR grandmother?"

Anonymous said...

"There I was, about to stick a $20 bill in her G-string, and then I had a vision of Jesus telling me, 'You realize that, if you give her cash, she might not declare it to the IRS.'"

Anonymous said...

"Thou shalt not covet thy buddy's stripper."

Swami Dil said...

Can one have thoughts other than 'impure' about strippers??

Anonymous said...

"And then I acted on them. I figured- hey, everybody's looking at her and not at me anyway. If I'd just kept quieter, I might have gotten away with it. Instead the guys punished me by kicking me out of the house, and only later when I got home did I realize that I'd left my meds there."

Anonymous said...

"But I didn't kick in when they were collecting money to pay her, so I feel like I wasn't really entitled."

Queen of the Road said...

After I saw a new patient a few years ago, she asked if I wanted to be paid by check or in cash. Of course, I chose cash. She then removed crumpled dollar bills from her purse, smoothing them out on my desk. I recalled she'd told me she was a stripper and quickly said, "You know what? A check would be fine."

I disinfected the desk after she left.

JoAnna said...

It's not either/or, it's both/and! :D

Anonymous said...

impure thoughts cannot cause seizures, or this would be one whammin jammin world. although sometimes i do feel a little tingly aura.

Kat's Kats said...

::head:laptop:: Well, at least it's a better excuse than a friend of mine who said, "Oh I can't take my meds tonight because I'm drinking." You know how Gibbs smacks idiots?? so do I. Pity they don't let doctors do that... it might bring up patient compliance.

weloushw - how one shows a dyslexic to take their seizure meds

Not House said...

@Swami

I'd argue the thoughts are 'pure', in that there's no dilution of the message :P

The Mother said...

Church's job is well accomplished.

Watercolor said...

bwaaahahahaaahahahhaaaaa! That's great!!!! Maybe next time he will be a good boy and take his meds and not oogle the stripper. Riiiiight.

NP Odyssey said...

If that's the case guys would be having seizures all over the place

thegooddrlaura said...

"... and impure thoughts about the booze and cocaine."

Captcha word "Agnes" -- wasn't there a movie about a nun by that name?

Anonymous said...

"And then I started having impure thoughts about the minister, which is why I'm in this body cast."

Anonymous said...

If his seizure had occurred while he was watching the stripper, she would have expected to paid double, for her affective performance!

Packer said...

I would have told him the truth, impure thoughts do not cause seizures, seizures are caused by the flashing lights the strippers use. Everybody knows that. Wear sunglasses.

lovinmyjob said...

foaming at the mouth while watching a stripper is not necessarily a seizure.

 
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