Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Air traffic control

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mrs. Compass: "Yeah, I have an appointment there at 9:00, and I don't see your name on the directory."

Mary: "What building are you in?"

Mrs. Compass: "Medical #5."

Mary: "Okay, we're in Medical #1, on the 6th floor. If you go out to the parking lot and face east, it's the big white building."

Mrs. Compass: "Okay, I'm on my way." (click)

(3 minutes later)

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office. This is Mary."

Mrs. Compass: "Yeah, I can't find your building."

Mary: "Where are you now?"

Mrs. Compass: "In the parking lot, facing west."

Mary: "We're behind you. Turn around. It's the big white building."

Mrs. Compass: "Oh! I see you! On the way." (click)

(3 minutes later)

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mrs. Compass: "Um, I think I got turned around and lost in the parking lot."

Mary: (sigh) "Okay, where are you?"

Mrs. Compass: "Facing your building. It's the reddish colored one."

Mary: "No, that's not our building... Hang on..." (walks to window) "What are you wearing?"

Mrs. Compass: "A red sweater, and a black baseball cap."

Mary: "Can you wave your arms and jump up or down or something... Okay! I see you. Turn to your left. No, I mean your other left. Yes. Now do you see the big white building?"

Mrs. Compass: "Oh! It's right in front of me!"

(at this point Dr. Pissy, the rest of the staff, and I were all standing at the window, in hysterics, while Mary tried not to lose her composure)

Mary: "Great! Just walk straight toward us!"

(Lady in red sweater and baseball cap walks about 10 feet toward us, then turns around and goes back the other way)

Mary: "Stop! Turn around!"

Mrs. Compass: "I thought you said I had to go east?"

Mary: "Yes, but now you're going west."

Mrs. Compass: "Are you sure?"

Mary: "Promise. Just turn around and walk toward the white building."

A few minutes later her flight landed successfully at my office. As she was filling out the paperwork, she said "You know, I started out in this building, too, and noticed your name on the directory. But I was sure you were in building #5, so I figured it was another Dr. Grumpy, and left."


Jamie VanBeekum said...

Thank you, Dr. Grumpy. I needed this laugh today. Boy, did I need it.

Anonymous said...

lol, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol...
good job Mary!

Anonymous said...

OK, now I don't feel quite so bad about the times I've gotten lost in doctor building complexes!

pam44 said...

I have absolutely no sense of direction - it could have been me. However, I am better at following directions.

webhill said...

Omg! We do this too! Client calls lost, we say where we are, they say no you aren't. We have them describe their car & then it's "turn left now! Oops, missed it, turn around at the light. Now turn right in 20 yards - oh, you passed us again! Turn around at the light. Now you need to turn left at the - hey, you missed it again!"

Mr Mobius said...

You're really making Psychiatry seem like a better idea. If for nothing more than entertaining patients. Neurology is too technical for my interests, but Psych was really good and sounds like have a lot of patients in common.

Jane said...

Maybe when she was looking at the directory, she thought you were Dr. Grumpy the nephrologist from a previous post.

Anonymous said...

Nearly just burst out laughing in the 'quiet' computer lab at my med school. It was worth it.

Thanks. My day is now officially better.


Anonymous said...

I am kinda glad she lost her re-election to congress.

C said...

OMG, awesome.

Anon @ 1:53 Bwhahahaha

w/v eatyi

Anonymous said...

"Turn to your left. No, I mean your other left."
Huh? That would only make sense to someone as confused as Mrs Compass.

Crazed Nitwit said...

Early onset Alzheimer's? Kidding. Bwahahahaha.

ER's Mom said...

Sounds like she doesn't have a brain and therefore doesn't need you. ;)

Angela said...


TOO FUNNY!!! *giggles*

Anonymous said...

So she was out in the parking lot...does that mean this woman has a driver's licence? That is a truly terrifying thought.

Not Houseq said...

Bwahahaha. So, diagnosis: topographical agnosia?

donna said...

Thanks Dr. G for the GREAT laugh//
laptop spared. Yeah!
Let's she gets lost going to the
gene pool!!

Great laugh!

donna said...

I hope Mary gets a BIG holiday
bonus this year! For the last
few weeks alone!!

Go Mary! (keeping cool and laughter

Val said...

Welll... I suppose that's why she was coming to see a neurologist, hey?
Can you fix loss of direction or does it need geographical surgery?

Anonymous said...

Now, now.... she may have undiagnosed Dyspraxia...

At any rate, that was a great discourse. It sooooo made me giggle.

Anonymous said...

i got off a plane long ago in a foreign capitol, and after clearing immigration and customs saw a man holding a sign with my name. i had no idea i was being met, and walked on by thinking curiouser and curiouser...

101Md said...

HAHAHAAa!! Well Dr. Grumpy, at least your patients never let you forget how desperately you are needed!!!

Best chuckle of the day.

Julie said...

I would have just left them to walk around the parking lot for a couple of hours ....

SeaSideRobin said...

Wow. The army would really LOVE to have this woman.

The Mother said...

So we're working her up for a lesion in the orienteering portion of the brain?

(Where would that be, exactly?)

Jennifer said...

Geez o peets! Sounds like she REALLY needs to see you, there's a problem up there!

BTW, Mary sounds awesome!

ERP said...

Is that some sort of official "+" neurological sign I am not aware of?

Just a little snarky said...

You better inject a tracking device in her nasal cavity, JUST IN CASE. Know what I mean?

Kyla said...


Anonymous said...

Did you check if she got safely home again?

lovinmyjob said...

similar phone calls all the time
Caller: can you tell me how to get to your store?
Me: I can try. Where are you now?
Caller: I don't know.
Me: I need to know where you are in order to give you directions.
Caller: I'm traveling.
Me: But you don't know where you are?
Caller: No. So do I turn left out of the parking lot?
Me: I don't know. What parking lot are you currently in?
Caller: I'm in a hotel.
Me: Which hotel?
Caller: I don't know.
Me: You don't know where you checked in? Look around for stationary with the name on it or call the front desk. In fact, why not call the front desk for directions?

Loren Pechtel said...

Sounds like she really needs a neurologist!

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