Dr. Grumpy: "What happened?"
Mr. Mesial: "One of my buddies had a bachelor party on Saturday, and I stayed up late and forgot to take my medication."
Dr. Grumpy: "It sounds like that's the cause."
Mr. Mesial: "Um, actually no. I think it's punishment."
Dr. Grumpy: "Punishment?"
Mr. Mesial: "Well, when I was in church later on I realized it was because I had impure thoughts about the stripper we'd hired."
20 comments:
At least he's honest!! :-p
"What, like you've never hired YOUR grandmother?"
"There I was, about to stick a $20 bill in her G-string, and then I had a vision of Jesus telling me, 'You realize that, if you give her cash, she might not declare it to the IRS.'"
"Thou shalt not covet thy buddy's stripper."
Can one have thoughts other than 'impure' about strippers??
"And then I acted on them. I figured- hey, everybody's looking at her and not at me anyway. If I'd just kept quieter, I might have gotten away with it. Instead the guys punished me by kicking me out of the house, and only later when I got home did I realize that I'd left my meds there."
"But I didn't kick in when they were collecting money to pay her, so I feel like I wasn't really entitled."
After I saw a new patient a few years ago, she asked if I wanted to be paid by check or in cash. Of course, I chose cash. She then removed crumpled dollar bills from her purse, smoothing them out on my desk. I recalled she'd told me she was a stripper and quickly said, "You know what? A check would be fine."
I disinfected the desk after she left.
It's not either/or, it's both/and! :D
impure thoughts cannot cause seizures, or this would be one whammin jammin world. although sometimes i do feel a little tingly aura.
::head:laptop:: Well, at least it's a better excuse than a friend of mine who said, "Oh I can't take my meds tonight because I'm drinking." You know how Gibbs smacks idiots?? so do I. Pity they don't let doctors do that... it might bring up patient compliance.
weloushw - how one shows a dyslexic to take their seizure meds
@Swami
I'd argue the thoughts are 'pure', in that there's no dilution of the message :P
Church's job is well accomplished.
bwaaahahahaaahahahhaaaaa! That's great!!!! Maybe next time he will be a good boy and take his meds and not oogle the stripper. Riiiiight.
If that's the case guys would be having seizures all over the place
"... and impure thoughts about the booze and cocaine."
Captcha word "Agnes" -- wasn't there a movie about a nun by that name?
"And then I started having impure thoughts about the minister, which is why I'm in this body cast."
If his seizure had occurred while he was watching the stripper, she would have expected to paid double, for her affective performance!
I would have told him the truth, impure thoughts do not cause seizures, seizures are caused by the flashing lights the strippers use. Everybody knows that. Wear sunglasses.
foaming at the mouth while watching a stripper is not necessarily a seizure.
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