Friday, December 10, 2010

Dear Health Monitor magazine,

Thank you for the letter that came this week asking me to remove your pulp rag magazine from my lobby.

(click to enlarge)




A couple points I'd like to make:

1. Your magazine came in freakin' MAY! There's no way my awesome office staff would have left it out there until December to read, anyway.

2. In fact, there's no way it would have made it to the lobby at all. It went into recycling shortly after it arrived. My patients prefer reading "People", "Sports Illustrated", and "Better Homes and Trailers".

3. I'm kind of sorry now that I did toss them, as I'd like to know what sort of "advertiser error" would lead you to recall it 6 months after the fact. Please feel free to comment if it's something juicy.

4. (MOST IMPORTANT). There is a DAMN good reason your magazine should have been recalled (or never published in the first place). The issue in question is the one I already featured on this blog because of the wild-eyed, Haldol-deprived, migraine patient you had on the cover!!!

Yours truly,

Ibee Grumpy, M.D.

15 comments:

The Mother said...

We probably have a few six month old magazines hanging around. Not Health Monitor, surprisingly. Gaming mags are big around here. I have to hide the MacUser or I don't get to read it. Same with Popular Science.

ERP said...

Maybe there were some naughty pics in it. Too bad you chucked it!

Heidi said...

That's quite funny! I can't imagine filling such a magazine with anything interesting to patients. Funny!!

Li'l Azathoth said...

"It turns out that unfiltered Lucky Strikes aren't, in fact, endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics."

Not House said...

Maybe it had something like this

Anonymous said...

Doc, take the weekend off, really.

Kat's Kats said...

Oookee Doookee! Unless I have a migraine that's bad enough to warrant the sleep mask I keep in my purse (don't worry, I never use it while driving) I use my own books. Although when I'm given subscriptions I'm known to read them & then leave them (sans name/address) in doctors' offices. I know, the shock of it!! National Geographic & the Smithsonian!! Horrors!

(sorry, but that's what we read around my house & I actually do ask the desk first)

Anonymous said...

Now I KNOW you make all this stuff up! No self-respecting doctor would have any magazines in their lobby newer than a year old! Don't bother denying it -- the jig is up!!!

Anonymous said...

Whatever that lady who allegedly has a migraine is on, I want some. Unless it is prohibited by the DEA, that is. Which seems likely.

Alanda Jacobs said...

Haldol has been on back order in this country for months now... No wonder she's deprived... :)

RxKerBer said...

My husband went to his PCP the other day and noticed they were taking away some magazines. He was talking to the ladies up front and they said some of the old ones had offensive ads to some pts. He told them about the sports mag (ESPN maybe) that had pics of nude atheletes. They asked where. He pointed to a table and said, right there. They asked why he hadn't brought it up to them before. He said " because then you woukd take the magazine away.". They all laughed.

lovinmyjob said...

I love the magazines that my neurologist has in his waiting room. I always look at the type of magazines the doc subscribes to to assess his intelligence and/or ego. For example: GQ = super-ego, Smithsonian = sophistication, People = run the other way! I personally carry my Kindle with me everywhere I go.

Anonymous said...

scientific american, natural history, new yorker, national geographic. they disappear.

Anonymous said...

The most remarkable magazine I ever read in a doctor's waiting room was in the waiting room of an orthopaedic surgeon. It was a very staid-looking magazine but had a well-written article about an African tribe in which all the women stretch their labia minora by hand in order to make themselves better in bed. The article included remarks from men who had had intercourse with these women, and they all raved about how fantastic the big labia felt. Every time I read about Western women getting their labia trimmed to make them look nicer, I remember that article and muse on whether it is better to have a pretty vulva or one that feels great during intercourse! Honestly, the things you learn...and I was only reading it because I was waiting to see the doc about a ganglion in my wrist. Which he repaired beautifully, I might add.

Anonymous said...

Good doctors don't have the time to actually scan a magazine and post a blog about it. Sad. Slow times for you huh? Not surprising.

 
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