"Hi, I'm a patient of Dr. Grumpy's. On Christmas eve I was at my daughter's house, and they all pointed out that I was dragging my right leg. It didn't hurt, and I didn't want to ruin the party, so I figured I'd see if it got better overnight. In the morning it wasn't any better, and my right arm and face were numb. But it was Christmas, and even though my granddaughter said I was talking funny, I didn't want to bother you, because it's, you know, a holiday. Besides, it made her laugh. She's so cute! Plus, my son had traveled all the way from Albuquerque to join us, and I didn't want to spoil things. Anyway, it's Sunday afternoon, and I'm on the way home after dropping my son off at the airport. So I'm calling to see if I can get an appointment to see you next week. Can someone please call me back in the morning?"
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.
Have Dr. Grumpy delivered automatically to your Kindle for only 99 cents a month! Sign up here!
Dr. Grumpy is for hire! Need an article written (humorous, medical, or otherwise) or want to commission a genuine Grumpy piece for your newspaper/magazine/toilet paper roll? Contact me to discuss subjects. You can reach me at the email address below, or through my Linked-In profile.
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA Mary: My Awesome Secretary Ed: The office fish Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with Mrs. Grumpy:My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse) Frank, Craig, and Marie:The Grumpy Tribe Mello, Garlic, and Onion: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.