Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Today's lesson: Never leave the patient alone.

Mrs. Ungal: "Hey doc, look at this!" 

Holds up small flat object, sort of a whitish-greenish-brown.

Dr. Grumpy: "What is it?"

Mrs. Ungal: "My big toenail. I pulled it off while you were talking to Mary."

28 comments:

Marian said...

Sitting here eating my breakfast. I can take a lot, but I really want to puke right now.

Anonymous said...

wow... did you touch it? i hope you didn't...

Old MD Girl said...

Revolting.

Mike said...

;_; Why? WHY?????

Anonymous said...

So Dr. Grumpy,
Exactly how far up on the CV is "Freak Show Barker"?

happy internist said...

once, i helped a patient get his sock off. i noticed his toe was bloody and missing a nail. i found the nail in the sock....oops.

ndenunz said...

Lesch-Nayan Syndrome?

Li'l Azathoth said...

"He loves me, he loves me not..."

Mad Jack said...

One reason I never became a medical doctor was that you had to go to school and stuff to be one. The other reason was because doctors had to deal with all the gross stuff people do.

I was about six years old when I arrived at this choice in my career path.

Now then. My question to you: Are you familiar with the phrase 'too much information'? I think the spoken abbreviation is Tee Em Eye (TMI). If so, it applies here.

I take some solace in the fact that no one has ever done anything remotely resembling this uniquely repugnant act in my office, and is not likely to.

Anonymous said...

"Got any guacamole?"

Packer said...

Upon reading the Grumpy missive, I knew that this would produce some of the best comments, I just knew it. I was laughing my ass off from number 1. Up to the point of got any guacamole--then I stopped laughing and started crying because I will never dine Tex-Mex again.

a.generic doc said...

Good thing you didn't talk to Mary for any longer. Who knows what else he would have pulled off!

arzt4empfaenger said...

YIKES! That is *not* why one becomes neurologist. Please go away, Mrs. Ungal!

Moose said...

I guess she nailed it.

Anonymous said...

"Do you mind if I leave it here? I like to keep spares around town, just in case."

Felix Kasza said...

@ndenunz, not Lesch-Nyhan, I think. My guess would be ungal onychomycosis, to be confirmed by a KOH wet mount and culturing nail cuttins and scrapings, of which there already seems to be a sufficiency on-hand. Hopefully, though, not on Dr. Grumpy's hand. :-)

Cheers,
Felix.

SMHDVM said...

Leaving clients alone in the exam room and watching them on CCTV is fun. Like the crazy lady that stole a bunch of syringes.

My friend has a better one though. Known klepto client, so the clinic made sure everything of value is out of the room on her visits.

They didn't think to remove the KY jelly that is used to help with rectal temps in animals.

KY jelly missing at next exam.

When klepto comes back, so complains about a hospital stay for toxic shock syndrome.

Gross.

Vivien said...

I just threw up.

Anonymous said...

Got a 80 year old homeless man, shipped up from the ER. Went to remove his shoe and the whole foot came off with it. The nurse and I almost passed out. Good times. Good times.

SkullCandy

Anonymous said...

Almost as bad as changing the linens on an ICU patient's bed and finding a small black nugget... yep.. a toe...ewwwww

New Old Fashioned Girl said...

You obviously keep people waiting to long.

Anonymous said...

Makes me want to barf! Sorry Doc Grumpy that tou have yucky pts!

Charles said...

Oh, for the love of all that is holy!

Why, just why, did you have to "share" that story with your readers?

Dr. Grumpy, are you secretly laughing at us all barfing now?

Bernadine said...

This is beyond creepy! What the heck did you do then? And how did you keep a straight face without getting that "I'm gonna hurl!" look? That's what I want to know.

DataGirl said...

I just threw up my hummus in my mouth

skidmark said...

Bunch of pansies is what you all are. Put myself through a few semesters of collidge [sic] working as the guy who went in and cleaned up after the docs had finished making a mess in the operating rooms. Also got to clean up the really good messes in the ER. I can look at what's left of someone swan-diving from the tenth floor while phoning in my lunchtime pizza order.

I'm having a real problem understanding why this patient was waiting to see Dr. Grumpy - unless her toenail had been far enough up her fundament to have caused interference with signals to/from the brain. Or have they exchanged skillsets between neurologists and podiatrists without telling me?

stay safe.

Zayrina said...

At least it didn't come out of a nose.

Anonymous said...

@Skidmark. <3 U. Why do people wait until a dead/near extremity is about to fall off before rolling into the ER? Somehow they manage to ignore the gangrene stank, but when it turns black, now it is a red hot issue?

Had an old lady's leg (foot to femur) fall off in our hands while we were turning her over on the stretcher. Nursing home thought she needed a below the knee amputation. FAIL.

Then washed up and went to lunch. Lots of top this grossness jokes that day.

SkullCandy

 
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