Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Monday with Mary's voice mail
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"Hi, I'm looking for a neurologist who treats symptoms caused by electromagnetic force fields, such as those given off by cell phones, WiFi transmitters, hearing aids, and computers. These things are prevalent in our society, and are making me and my friends all sick. We need someone who can treat us for brain and nerve damage from their radiation, and who could also help us file a mass lawsuit against all cell phone, computer, and hearing aid users. Thank you."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Blog Archive
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2012
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May
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- Negotiations
- Dear Groupon,
- Lions and peacocks and needles OH MY!
- FORE!
- Memorial Day reruns
- Random Sunday pictures
- Memories...
- Eloquence
- Some things just go great together
- The bag lady
- Huh?
- Zoo. To go.
- Monday with Mary's voice mail
- We're talking serious Haldol. And 4-point leathers
- More hairs leap off
- Irony
- Saturday
- Mary's Desk
- Thursday evening rambling
- Wednesday night, 11:23 p.m.
- Speeding. Drunk Driving. Racing through a construc...
- Huh?
- Great patient moments
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- Holy interpreter, Batman!
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- Found at a freakin' dollar store!
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- Descriptive speech
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- Driving home from school
- Oh, I think you do
- Yogurt. And nuts.
- Weekend reruns, part 2
- Weekend reruns, part 1
- Thursday afternoon
- Computers: letting you practice without a brain
- Great names
- Have you considered earplugs?
- Today's lesson: Never leave the patient alone.
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May
(40)
23 comments:
sounds like my mum has your number ... sorry about that ...
Obviously it's true -- all that stuff has made this guy completely bugf*ck insane.
Yeah, umm, the field of neurology that specializes in your particular issue is called psychiatry. Let me put you in contact with someone...
In order for the examination to continue it is necessary for you to remove the tin foil hat.
or, it was that marketer from the other day trying a new tack.
Or,
Seriously, there was a news magazine show ( thus the increase in reported cases) detailing people who do have an idiosyncratic aversive reaction to such electronic forces. I believe one of the Scandinavian countries is actively researching. I will check and get back to you.
neener, neener , neener to those who thought I was bs ing you.
http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs296/en/index.html
Someone has to stop those evil hearing aid users!!! Monsters all of them! Won't someone think of the paranoid crazies?!?!?
Seriously, just think about how prevalent they are these days! We are under constant barrage from these force fields, and most of us don't even know it. Massive litigation is the only way to expose the insidious nature of it all and break through the veil of deception. In my opinion, they are setting their sights too low. Why, imagine the monetary damages if it were to address the full scope? Just look around at the number of electrics, appliances, devices, electromagnetic rays on the motherships alone...
Packer said...
In order for the examination to continue it is necessary for you to remove the tin foil hat.
Unfortunately, for a great many sufferers, their tin foil hats are ineffective. Tin foil is very difficult to find. It has been replaced by aluminum foil. Many people don't know the difference and are shocked to discover their aluminum foil hat doesn't work. /sarcasm
"You can call me back on my cell, or you can e-mail me."
Not Tinfoil! Not aluminum! It's Velastat!! www.stopabductions.com
PS Beware, if you go to the site, you will wet yourself because you'll be laughing so hard.
The terrible thing is that s/he will find a neurologist who is willing to be an expert witness for the suits.
Thank you anonymous for the great info re
THE THOUGHT SCREEN HELMET STOPS SPACE ALIENS FROM ABDUCTING HUMANS.
I have been looking for one ever since my last abduction.
G
Can I get in on that class action? My retirement-by-lottery-ticket plan is not working out quite the way I envisioned it.
Well uh... this is awkward. I am a hearing aid user.
PS: the ad on the side your blog now says 'Talk to a friendly expert lawyer now'... see, there are clearly greater forces involved, here. I think it's a little thing called money, though. :/
I just hope Mary erased that message as soon as she heard it.
Gads, and there is just no reasoning with these people. There have been a few double-blind studies, with the participants being people who claim to be sensitive to radiation.
Result? Zero, nada, nothing. The "symptoms" had zero correlation to the presence or absence of electromagnetic radiation.
Which doesn't convince them at all. Hypochondriacs need some excuse to feel bad.
That is sooooooooooo funny, but the comments are even funnier. Damn I wish you could like comments on blogs!
Anon, I think you meant electro-amnesic radiation...which might explain a lot...and could be quite useful!
Actually, my boss monitors my brainwaves thru my mobile phone and steals all my ideas (only the good ones, that is)
There are a couple of people on a vertigo forum I moderate who think their symptoms are caused by electromagnetic fields. People grasp at straws after going for years without a diagnosis or getting multiple diagnoses.
Ask any Coclear implant user what they go through when entering a security door like a drugstore or a department store. If the volume is high enough the feedback get your attention!!
"It ain't me, babe.
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe.
It ain't me you're looking for."
(Bob Dylan)
I think it is really hypocritical that this person called you on a phone. Should have visited in person or written a letter.
The caller needs to move to the National Radio Quiet Zone in West Virginia.
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