Friday, May 18, 2012

Mary's Desk

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Ms. Sleaze: "Yes, I need to speak to Dr. Grumpy immediately."

Mary: "Who is this?"

Ms. Sleaze: "You have some nerve to ask me that! This is Ima Sleaze, and I'm calling him on a personal matter about him being a homeowner."

Mary: "Okay, I can give him a message, but he's with a patient. If this is a sales call I can tell you he won't return it."

Ms. Sleaze: "THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MATTER FOR ALL HOMEOWNERS! You can tell him that Suzy Patient referred me to him. I know he'll get on the phone right now."

Mary: "I'm not going to interrupt him with a patient. If you want to leave me your phone number, I'll give him the message."

Ms. Sleaze: "He'll fire you for not putting me through, and you'll have only yourself to blame."



Kristin said...

Mary needs a raise for having to deal with all these nutjobs.

Anonymous said...

Everyone needs a bad-a** Mary in their lives! Well done!

Anonymous said...

So are you going to contest Mary's filing for unemployment?

Anonymous said...

When are you conducting interviews for Mary's job? I know someone whose looking for work.

Li'l Azathoth said...

"Take it from someone who knows. You think I'd be peddling overpriced mortgage loans on the phone if I still had MY job as a doctor's secretary?"

Anonymous said...

I must say, it was very brave of Mary to tell you about this call when she could have just kept quiet and you'd never have known. I hope you took this into account in her severance package.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Of course I fired her. I've fired May 5-10 times a week for the last 8 years.

GunDiva said...

And then you immediately give her an "I'm sorry, I was an idiot to fire you, please come back bonus", right?

New Old Fashioned Girl said...

I used to get calls like this when I was a dentist's receptionist. The best part was, if she heard a conversation like this taking place, she'd march down the hall and get on the phone and give them HELL. "THIS is Dr. Dentist," she'd say. And then she'd just lay into them.

She was the best boss I've ever had.

OMDG said...

I suggest firing Suzy Patient instead of Mary.

Packer said...

Ah, the naysayer appears to dampen the day. My old man, a harsh and demanding guy lived with absolutes and conveyed them to his children in absolute terms. There was no gray.

1. Never ever pass up a panhandler without giving him something. A buck, some change. Why because it could be you one day.
2. Regardless of how busy you are always talk to sales people. You can always say not interested, but only do it after you have given them two minutes of your time.Why, because they are just trying to get by like you will be at some time in your life.

Father, he knew best even though he was a royal pain.

bobbie said...

Saint Mary ~

Anonymous said...

Working in a nursing home once a salesman called one of my patients selling new windows. She gave him her address and set up an appointment to get all the windows in her home replaced. She couldn't wait to see the look on the guys face when he showed up. Yeah she had a lovely little evil streak.

Scrub Ninja said...

In my short nursing career, I've already learned that the louder someone tells you a thing is important, the less likely it is to actually be important.

Every once in a while, a dramatic shout turns out to be legit, but those are far outnumbered by the wolf-criers and the uncomplaining STEMIs.

Anonymous said...

"Please! The only way for me to lift the curse is to give this message to 13 neurologists by noon today! Otherwise..."

Anonymous said...

Washington, D.C.
May 1, 2011
3:00 pm EDT

"White House Situation Room."
"Yes, I need to speak to the president immediately."
"Who is this?
"You have some nerve to ask me that! This is Ima Sleaze..."

pharmacy chick said...

sounds like Ima needs to schedule an appointment for an exam!

Anonymous said...

You should introduce Mary to the wonderful work of Tom Mabe. It might give her some pointers for dealing with these callers.

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