Thursday, December 22, 2011

Today's featured gift

What do we need more of?

I think all of us often wake up saying "Gee, I wish there was some way I could make my crotch more hot and sweaty than it already is."

Fortunately there's an easy answer: Vibrating Sauna Pants!





Now, even in a place as cold and snowy as Grumpyville you can keep your private areas sweaty and moving, and make believe this is a substitute for exercise.

These sexy pants come with a thermostat, so you can heat your junk to the desired temperature, and an adjustable vibration setting (so you can differentiate them from your cell phone ringing).

In the immortal words of Roosevelt E. Roosevelt "It's hot enough here to cook things in my shorts! A little crotchpot cooking." And now that can be you.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

New method of male contraception?

Anonymous said...

Why the f*ck would anyone think this was a good idea?

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Hmm, I thought nature dropped them away from your own body heat to keep your swimmers at the right temp ... call me crazy but to what end are we now boiling them like so many hapless lobsters on sportsman's weekend in the Florida Keys.

..::pondering::..

LadybugAu said...

How to make yourself sterile in one easy lesson.

Anonymous said...

That......just.......WHY!?!?!??!

~Francine

Packer said...

Hold on there ladies---You all jumped on the male factor quite readily---and hilariously I might add, but the model is a woman---who is probably dealing with pre menstrual cramping--so warmth and gentle vibration is probably a good thing, for it saves mankind from the bitchiness, just pondering :)

medstudentitis said...

@anonymous1 - that was the first thing that came to my mind! Fry the testes and no babies!

Anonymous said...

Weenie roast.

Touche' said...

Clam bake!

Anonymous said...

Two words: yeast infection.

History Doc said...

Who comes up with this nonsense? And does anybody buy it????

pharmacy chick said...

Wow, Mr Chick always thought HIS junk was hot...now I can say " not hot enough!" LOL

Anonymous said...

Working in a nursing home, where undoubtedly none of this would matter, I can only say, for whom would this particular product be marketed?

SuFu PhD said...

yes, Yes and YES

Impetua said...

Oh, the post was funny enough and then the comments sent me right into laughing out loud. Thanks so much!

Anonymous said...

Something like that for my lower back would be good, but this ...

Cthulhu Sashimi said...

Also available in an adult diaper version.

Anonymous said...

You are all going the wrong direction with this. Think "oh, no...my but and thighs are too big...i'll sweat off the water weight and vibrate away the cellulite instead of exercising".

Anonymous said...

from afar, it looks like it comes with an outfacing genital camera...

jillian said...

OK, for some reason I read this as "VIbrating Santa Pants" and I was REALLY confused. Cause that would be truly creepy.

 
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