Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Patient quote of the day
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"My mother lost her breasts. To cancer, I mean. She didn't, like, leave them somewhere or anything like that."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
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Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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19 comments:
Whew. Glad she clarified. I always worry I'm going to leave my breasts laying around somewhere.
Anon 3:39 ~ you took the words right out of my mouth!!
;-)
Dr. G looked like he needed clarification.
LOL...I had a friend whose grandmother had one removed. Her prosthesis sometimes went "wandering". Mainly up on her shoulder. She was rather blunt about it. "Damn, I lost my tit again!"
Anon 4:18-- BWAHAHAHAHA
~Francine
Oh crap. I left my breasts at school today. I'll have to have Luca drive me back tonight so I can pick them up.
I left my heart in San Francisco...and my boobs in Seattle...
Actually they are probably lying around in the freezer at the hospital. She might want to check there.
A national scourge I say...leaving breasts around...somebody should enact legislation....LOL
Lou, the breasts have gone missing again, time to implement "Operation Motorboat"
God knows I hate when I missplace mine...
Car keys...check
Glasses....check
Purse......check
Breasts....crap! Now, where did I leave them?
I know someone, but I'm not telling who, who left her breast prosthesis at a friend's house after spending a weekend there. She ended up having to make a phone call that began, "Hey, hi! Listen, did I leave my boob at your place?"
My mother, a dressmaker, used to use her prosthesis as a pin cushion. It caused a bit of consternation with clients when she was doing a fitting with them.
Then she acquired a new prosthesis which was filled with a kind of gel, she had to unlearn her habit of sticking pins in!
I lost weight and went from a 40D to a 32AA. I recently ran into someone I hadn't seen in years while wearing a sports bra (which does leave me totally flat-chested).
Her greeting:
"Holy crap, D! Where are your breasts?!"
Mystery of the missing boobies.
I remember reading an article about a man who had to have his arm amputated. He got tired of strangers asking him "What happened to your arm?" so he took to looking down at his empty sleeve in shock and yelling "Holy crap, I've LOST MY ARM!!!"
"....or anything like that"
eeuww!
Teenage girls may find their breasts embarrassing at first, but they grow on you...
True story--Son in paramedic school, doing ER rotation. Medics bring in crayzee woman, who called an ambulance because she "lost her vagina." Son looks around, asks the medics "Well, did you look around for it?" Poor doc about spit his coffee out laughing.
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