Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Mary, you're fired. Again.

The scroll wheel on my mouse got stuck. So I turned it over and banged it hard several times on my desk to fix it (this works, sometimes).

From down the hall Mary yelled: "Hey! What's that noise?"

I said: "I'm beating my mouse back here."

Mary yelled back: "Whatever you want to call it. Next time close your office door."


It's behavior like this that gets Mary fired. I fire her an average of 5-6 times a day.

37 comments:

Kristin said...

How soon until Mary posts this on the that's my boss blog?

Mrs. Higrens said...

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Anonymous said...

keep her if she called housekeeping and the dry cleaner.

Sandra said...

Poor Dr. Grumpy! You can't get good help nowadays. LOL

mongolian yak said...

dude, put your mouse in dishwasher, will ya? :p

terri c said...

Mary is a demented genius. I like that in a person. No wonder you and she work well together!

me said...

thanks for my first big belly laugh of the day!!!

Moose said...

I love Mary. I really, really love her to pieces.

BTW, for some strange reason this made me think of you, Doc:

http://notalwaysright.com/bohemian-nobody/5571

Jacqueline said...

Mary rocks!

Chris said...

I really, really want to work in your office.......

Kim said...

For future reference, you might need a mouse ball replacement. Before replacing your balls, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

"Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that you have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum satisfaction. If you are missing your balls you should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items. A person without access to properly working balls is an unhappy person.

HEEE! :)

Gen said...

I've heard of a woman "double-clicking her mouse". I guess what's good for the goose is good for the gander!

Kat's Kats said...

You know what the problem is... Mary is suffering from the effects of dealing with your patients!!

PS I used to take out the mouse's ball on a regular basis and clean it with isopropyl alcohol.

the observer said...

Dr. G:
Optical mice, without balls, are now available.

That sounds really weird!

Don't fire Mary. Who else will you hire to deal with...everything she deal's with?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

People! I'm not talking about the little roller button on the bottom of the mouse. I mean the gray scrolling ball ON TOP OF the Apple Optical Mighty Mouse. Like this.

the observer said...

Well, we had fun with this anyway.

Don't know about that one. You would think you could take it out and clean it. You would think a company as far thinking as Apple would imagine that people who are using a computer might have stuff on their hands...

Oh, God, the pictures in my head...I need to go bleach my mind now.

Kat's Kats said...

Well, there's your problem! Never mess with Mighty Mouse!!

mongolian mouse said...

apparently you are not alone, a lot of tips here:
http://www.macosxhints.com/article.php?story=20060210115417864

and - stop eating crispy/fatty food when using the mouse ;-)

Kim said...

Btw, I've been reading some of your posts to my husband. He thinks the whole thing should be turned into a sitcom. He thinks it'd be the funniest sitcom that's been on in a long time and it would get incredible ratings. I agree! I'd watch it!

Kristin said...

A sitcom based on Dr. Grumpy would be so much better than any of the medical dramas that keep showing up on network television.

Maha said...

Please tell Mary that I love her and her evil ways!

Jackie said...

I agree with Kristin!! In the rush to fill the "void" left by ER all of the medical shows that have come out recently are CRAP!

Anything based on Dr. Grumpy would be awesome!
xx
Jaxs

Ben S said...

Ugh, I hate those Apple mouses (mouse?), always squeeze them inadvertently and weird stuff pops up on the screen.

Jedi Meg said...

My husband also has that same mouse and uses small isopropyl alcohol wipes to clean it.

And thanks for the belly laugh Dr. G and all previous posters!

Kim said...

I haven't watched a medical drama since Trapper John MD went off the air. Did I just date myself?

mojitogirl said...

You are both sick and twisted. That's why I love u. Can I work in your office? or just be a fly on your wall? personal assistant? go-fer? groupie?

Stephany said...

While reading the Twitter feed from Dr Grumpy, it occurred to me he could take his show on the road like

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/08/william-shatner-reads-shi_n_491035.html

the popular twitter Sh*tmydadsays has done!

Anonymous said...

Kim you did not date yourself. I was in LOVE with Gonzo. It was my favorite show. I actually found Season 1 on DVD a few years ago but nothing else. Sure wish one of the cable stations would rerun the episodes. I was sad to see it go.

What about St. Elsewhere?

Kim said...

Ahhh, yes, Gonzo was cute. :) I never saw St. Elsewhere. I was semi-incorrect when I said the last medical drama I watched was Trapper John MD. When my son was a baby and I was up at insane hours (12am for an hour, then 2am for another hour, then 4am for another hour...I didn't sleep for the first year of his life!) to feed him, I did catch a few ER episodes. Only a few, though, and I caught one that seemed anti-cochlear implant, which annoyed me because I'm very pro cochlear implant, so I didn't watch again.

the Muse,RN said...

....needed that laugh today, Dr. G. Keep Mary. Fire the OB Nurse. omg.

Kat's Meow said...

HAHAHAH!! Yep, that sounds about like something she would say! Witty girl! Jobless from hour to hour, but witty, she is!

sandy shoes said...

Just don't tell her you've been "hiking the Appalachian Trail." Even if you have.

thegooddrlaura said...

Thanks, man. I've had a shitty last 24 hours at work. I needed a good laugh.

ERP said...

Mary must know something about the size of your manhood that the rest of us don't.....

Kylara said...

Boy that must be a lot of paperwork to fire and rehire her several times a day!

Rescuedog said...

Just glad you're not a brain surgeon.

heh.

Sandy in Pa said...

Oh my...laughed my butt off. I sure needed it doc! Said it before, give Mary a raise, she is a hoot!

 
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