Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday night, 10:57 p.m.
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"Hello, I'm calling for the MRI-scheduling lady for Dr. Grumpy. You left me a message that my MRI is on May 21, and that is, like, my birthday, and I'm real claustrophobic and need sedation for my MRI so I don't, like, freak-out or shit like that, so I can't have it on my birthday because I always spend my birthday driving around to my friends' places and smoking pot with them, so I can't be sedated on that day because then the drugs to help me have the MRI would make me too sleepy to drive, and that's not safe."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Blog Archive
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2010
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May
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- Memorial Day, 2010
- Insurance premiums at work
- May 29, 1914
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- Mary, you're fired. Again.
- Tuesday night, 11:57 p.m.
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- The lost month
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- Not a good sign
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- Society pages
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- Friday night, 10:57 p.m.
- Must need a helluva big pill bottle
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- Compromising and Improvising
- Some days I can't win
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- Wednesday Afternoon
- Confused, possibly hallucinating. Not incontinent ...
- Kate's Desk
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- Come on, I hadn't even had a Diet Coke yet
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- Once upon a time...
- Mother's day is over! Get back to work!
- Mother's Day at the Grumpy House
- Doc, can we stop for some water?
- Why I'm a neurologist, Reason #27
- Skool Nerse Time
- Hmm... Do you think it's your allergies?
- Skool Nerse Time
- Priorities
- Attention Hospital Staff!
- Helping the handicapped
- Annie's Desk, May 5, 2010
- Does he take your insurance?
- Medical Research
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- Biting my tongue
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May
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21 comments:
I'ld say she doesn't need an MRI then.
...
*blink*
...
She should just smoke pot with her friends BEFORE the MRI. Problem solved. Uh...unless it makes her paranoid...and she gets the munchies... Scratch that idea.
Now this? This one takes the cake! Wahoo!
Unreal man. Unreal.
Now I know you're in California.
This truly is an unusual patient for Doctor Grumpy. She actually listened to a message and is responding in a timely manner!!!
I think it was The Dilbert Principle that said there is nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
Points for honesty.
Amazing, but not illogical. The patient seems to still have a functioning brain, in spite of possible drug overuse.
However, why did your readers assume the patient was female? Did I miss something?
Love you Dr. G.
all the good calls come after 5pm on friday
LOL!! Okay, now I'm ready for my Personal Torture... ummm... ah... oh... I mean Physical Therapy!!
BTW I had my second knee surgery on my bday and my third the day before! My surgeon told me to consider them presents. huh. But I didn't ask to change the dates!
Well, at least the patient has their priorities straight!
I guess discretion has gone by the wayside along with just about every other construct of civilization.
@Anon 8:50 - Very Funny!!!
Makes me pine for the Golden State!
"Dude, like, man, I drop acid at Timothy Leary's grave every year on my birthday - or like, some graveyard somewhere, so, like, in addition to communing with my spiritual shaman, I, like, think that being in a closed air MRI would, like, freak the living shit out of me!!! Like, I'd probablly be trippin' that I was dead, or some shit, or like, even worse, I'd been buried alive. Whoa, bummer dude! I'm startin' to freak out right now, just thinkin' about it! Yeah, we'd better push that MRI back by at least a week, dude.
Well...to try and put a positive spin on things...
At least she planned on going in for her MRI instead of calling your office asking for results to an MRI she never went to in the first place?
*Sigh* Sorry, I tried.
Doc,
I believe you...I have patients that tell me they smoke weed. Not always right away, mind you, but usually they do before I'm done (usually on admission, when we specifically ask).
The logic of this one is more astounding the the average Dr. Grumpy patient.
what the....O.K. that just boggled even me. If I were concerned enough about my health to have an MRI, I would be rethinking the pot. Just sayin...
Melissa
That's just astonishingly stupid!!
Really? Here in Colorado you can get your medical marijuana license based on seizures alone; that is one of the things they will prescribe for...I'm taking advantage of this.
OK, folks, I can't be the only one. We had rules back in the day. Never go to work stoned, of course. Always know your source or know someone you trust who has sampled the product before you do so. Stay at home when under the infuence. When using something that makes communication with people not like us difficult, always arrange for a friend not sharing the experience to be available by phone in case of emergency. We lost one person to alcohol abuse along the way but the rest of us have had successful careers since back in the day. The lesson? Once a rule follower, always a rule follower.
Okay, I think this is embarrassing for the rest of us with May 21 birthdays!
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