Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Comedy in the afternoon

I'm seeing a delightful, but VERY nervous older lady, who has a new cell phone. She's quite vocal about how she doesn't like it, but her son (Michael) worries about her, and so he bought her one.

Her phone rings about a minute into the appointment. She looks at it. "Oh, it's Michael. I don't want to talk to him."

I suggested ignoring it, and letting it go to voicemail. Or turning it off.

She said: "I don't know how. And I don't want him to worry."

So she answers the phone: "Um, uh, yes, hello, this is Doris, and I'm not home, so please leave a message. Beep."

She hung up. It took everything I had not to burst out laughing.

A few minutes later the phone rings again. She looks at me and says, "I'm sorry, but I really don't want him to think I'm ignoring him".

She answers it again "Hello, this is Doris, I'm not here, and can't take your call. Please, um, leave a message again. Beep."

This time we made it another 10 minutes before Michael called again. I offered to answer it for her, to tell him she was at the doctor, and shouldn't be disturbed. Of course, she didn't want him to know that, so fumbled with the phone again.

"Um, hello. This is Doris again, and I, uh, I mean, um, you have a wrong number."

I had to run to the bathroom so I wouldn't go to pieces in front of her.

He didn't call back after that.

23 comments:

Jennifer Gilbert Settle said...

hahahaha. i think people must see your blog & come see you on purpose just to give you things to write about. wowwwww.

Fizzy said...

I honestly don't know how you manage to keep front bursting out laughing in front of these patients. I don't think I could do it.

R. May said...

of course her son worries about her because he loves her - how can anyone not love this woman? i love her and i have no idea who she is.

that made my day.

LTCLC said...

AWESOME!!

Sandra said...

That is hysterical. I agree with R. May. I like this lady, too! And Michael is a good son to worry about his mother.

Still, if my mother did that to me, I would worry twice as much. :-(

XE said...

That's too cute.

Jackie said...

That is GREAT!!!!!!!!!! ahahahaah!! It's totally something my mom would do!

xx
Jaxs

RxKerBer said...

Too funny. Reminds me of the movie 'Mother' with Albert Broooks. If you haven't seen it, rent it. It is hilarious.

Jon said...

LOL. I am starting to think you take LSD to come up with this stuff.

miss kitten said...

being a parent is good practice for these sorts of patients. we have the standing rule "if the kid can make you laugh, they dont get punished." and we have HYSTERICALLY funny kids. *G*

Maha said...

LMAO!! That just made my day! If you're going to get old and ignore your kids, this is the way to do it. Frankly Dr. G I'm in awe of your laughter suppressing abilities cuz I would have been on the floor in tears!

Anonymous said...

Oh, that Doris!! She's a hoot! Personally, I think any patient that can make Dr. G lose his cool and have to leave the room to keep from busting out laughing should receive an award of some kind.

WV: grizot - some sort of fancy French dish made with chicken innards.

Anonymous said...

I think her son already knows she needs a neurologist.

me said...

What a dear, sweet lady!!!

Miss Kismet said...

Doris made my day :) - I hope she made yours too!

Ravi Shanghavi said...

Can you imagine her sons thoughts? I mean.. I'd be shocked speechless.. LOL!! -Ravi Shanghavi, Ottawa, Canada

Tammy said...

Straight out of a Golden Girls episode!

Rescuedog said...

I want to be Doris when I grow up!

Claudia said...

I'm 80, and I do the Doris Thing everyday. People (specially adult children) are a nuisance. They think (because I'm older) that they have to keep an eye on my every move. I've answered many times, "I'm not here. Don't call me. I'll call you!"

Thanks for loving old ladies, Dr.Grumpy. I love you too!

Anonymous said...

Tammy that was the first thing I thought of....the episode with Dorothy "trying" to sleep and Rose knocking on the door? OMG, LOL, just thinking about it. I love the Girls. They are on here SIX nights a week from 10 PM-MIDNIGHT on two different channels. Strange?? They run different episodes too so I pick my favorites and flip back and forth (only when I can't sleep otherwise I am in bed by then).

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Okay, so somehow she things that doing a "live" version of the recorded message is somehow different from letting the call go to the actual recorded message?

I have no idea how a mind like that operates, nor do I wish to.

ERP said...

I gotta do that one with my Mom.

Sandy in Pa said...

This is one of mine...hahah...love geriatrics for sure. Never know what they will say. Bless her heart, just made me spit my water all over my computer screen.

 
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