Monday, March 29, 2010

Dude, you're a pig

Us guys get a bad rap. And, in all honesty, we at least partially deserve it. I myself am recently guilty of selective hearing.

There are times, however, when I encounter a situation that makes me ashamed to be a carrier for the Y chromosome (like this, from last year).

Yesterday I had a consult on a 24 year old lady who'd been admitted for some pretty scary symptoms. I got to the floor while she was downstairs having an MRI, so I saw a few other patients while waiting for her to come back.

Her boyfriend showed up during this time, discovered she wasn't in the room, and made himself comfortable. He adjusted the bed to a cozy position, bought a bunch of chips and pop from the vending machines, stretched out, and turned on basketball.

After about an hour she was done with the MRI, but there wasn't anyone available to bring her back to the room. Since I wanted to get started on the consult, I went downstairs myself, put her in a wheelchair, and pushed her up to the room.

When I wheeled her in, I looked at Mr. Boyfriend, and said, "You'll have to move to the chair. I need to examine her, and she needs to be in the bed."

He didn't budge. Without looking away from the screen he said, "Dude, I'm watching the game."

29 comments:

Amanda said...

What a tool. She'll probably marry him.

Chris said...

I'm impressed with the fact that you went and got a wheelchair and took her back to her room yourself. And I agree with Amanda - guarantee they'll get married.

Celeste said...

I'm no M.D., but my diagnosis is that he doesn't love her.

Moose said...

A friend was just telling me about a 3rd person (mutual friend) who asked her boyfriend to take her to the hospital for a serious (but not life-threatening) problem. His response was "take the bus."

Yeah, I agree with the others. She'll tell him what a jerk he is and marry him anyway. Because "that's how boys are!" [And of course, that means everyone should let them get away with this shit.]

So who finally convinced him to get the hell outta the bed? You? Her? A nurse (since we all know nurses run the universe)? hospital security? a bedpan to the brainpan?

wait, nevermind the latter that could be seen as "making your own patients."

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Moose- I did.

I told him that he wasn't the patient, and unless he wanted to pay cash for a $1500/day hospital bed, he had to move.

He moved. Didn't even take his eyes off the TV, either.

Helen said...

I had a high school boyfriend like this. I grew out of him - I hope she does, too. What an ass.

Anonymous said...

This yoyo qualifies as the American Proctological Society poster boy of 2010.

Old MD Girl said...

I'm ashamed to admit that I dated a guy like this FOR THREE YEARS too. I came to my senses after he ran off with my car after driving me to work one day after I had surgery, and then refused to pick me up (because I was a selfish bitch) to take me in for an emergency appointment because my foot wouldn't stop bleeding.

He was a winner. Scary how many of us have been there. I'm afraid if I have kids, they will be as stupid as I was.

Li'l Azathoth said...

"Hey, doc, want me to move? Pull my finger."

lostonthefloor said...

Going to call BS on this story! A doc went to MRI to pick up a patient? Most of ours only know we have MRI in the building, nevermind how to actually get there. Kudos Grumpy, you rock!

As for tool boy, maybe it's not a male/female thing, but it's a case of poor protoplasm. I think douche is a pretty good adjective as well.

donna said...

JM&J I hope she boot kicks him
out of there! I agree though she
probably will marry him! I am impressed with your restraint of not
giving him a need to be in a hospital!
I would ban him from the hospital! But
that would not work cuz she probably
loves him! This really blows my
mind.

RehabNurse said...

Ah, Doc, now you get to see what we do everyday, but you are a darned expensive transporter!

My personal favorite: shooshing a gangbanger out of one of my clean rooms waiting for a patient while he was just "using the phone".

He had two cell phones and a beeper on his belt.

I told this story to one of my coworkers and he/she told me in the big city the dealers like to do this in case they show up on CallerID...less trouble than leaving your cell #...or blocking it.

Nice...

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a perfect candidate for the March Madness vasectomy promotion.

Anonymous said...

Come on now guys, give the poor guy a break, I am sure he could not help it.

It was just a semi-consciouse reflex response and had nothing to do with any actual thinking.

They dont call it "March Madness" for nothing :-}

Grumpy, M.D. said...

I'd rather transport the patient myself so I can get started on the consult, when needed.

It's a waste of time for me to be sitting around waiting for a transporter.

Doris said...

I was under the impression that it is very bad form for anyone but the patient to be in or on the bed...am I wrong?

was1 said...

Well, we all have our priorities in life and since she probably wasn't in the mood for sex...

Anonymous said...

One double dose of Mist. diabolica coming up! To be taken in small sips by the gentleman. If his hands come in the way, pin them behind his back. (OK, it's just nice to dream of appropriate revenge!)

Anonymous said...

Men are like that.My husband is a great guy,but even he has moments like that.(although with him its a defense mechanism)As long as we're not actually dying,the game can go on.

danielle said...

Yeah - like when you walk into the Post Partyum room in the middle of the night - find the dad asleep in the bed - the mom who has recently given birth awake in the chair - and she tells you to be quiet so you dont wake up dad cause he is tired!
Dang, I can be so clumsy at those times when I am really so wanting NOT to bump into beds and other noisy things.....and then have the joy of kicking the dad out of the bed since I need to examine mom while she is laying flat!!!!!!!!!!

terri c said...

Surgery consult stat--your patient needs an emergent boyfriendectomy!

Memune said...

Too bad you can't write her a scrip for a new boyfriend. Or make dumping him part of her PT.

PS is she going to be OK?

Ms Luey said...

Anonymous, "men" are not like that. ASSHOLES are like that.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of my ex husband.

I had 2 seizures in a day and he called an ambulance. I had to take a cab home with no purse, no money and no shoes with my face smashed from falling on it.

I've been divorced for almost a year now. Thank God.

pharmacy chick said...

And after I would be done with him he would need both a neurosurgeon and a proctologist to remove his severely brain damaged head from his ass.

Anonymous said...

Severe cranio-rectal displacement...

Anonymous said...

Restrain the jackass and have the shakiest nursing student around start an IV on him.

medstud(ent) said...

i would have asked security to escort that MFer out of there. what a piece of crap. of course then you would be getting complaints about being rude.

Elizabeth said...

...sounds like the perfect person to test the defibfillator paddles on...

 
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