Monday, March 1, 2010
Monday night, 7:05 p.m.
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"Hi, this is Mrs. Ramble calling. I need to make an appointment with Dr. Grumpy, who I think I saw once. It's not for the problem he saw me for then, it's for a new problem, but it's been going on for a while, so it's sort of old. Maybe it is the same problem, I'm not sure. But whatever it is, I think I need to see Dr. Grumpy for it, unless it's the problem I had before, in which case he needs to have a new look at it. So can someone please call me back tomorrow?"
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Blog Archive
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2010
(742)
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March
(72)
- My Reederz Rite
- Another fine patient quote
- Dear Mag Mutual Healthcare,
- Mary's Desk, March 30, 2010
- Early morning at the office
- Gee, thanks
- Dude, you're also a pig
- Dude, you're a pig
- Comedy on rounds
- Sunday morning rounds
- Career change time?
- On call. And they do call.
- Insanity
- Do you need a prescription for that?
- I'm going to change my undies now
- I'm not that crazy. Yet.
- Bon voyage
- Early Wednesday Rounds
- Foot, meet mouth
- Think green
- Wow! What a great policy!
- Monday afternoon
- Mary's Desk, March 22, 2010
- Sunday night, 7:45 p.m.
- This is Mrs. Grumpy
- Don't call us, we'll call you
- Dear Drug Company,
- Lying kid? Thermodynamic fail? All of the above?
- What the hell?
- Dear Fleet Enema Company,
- Skool Nerse Time
- March Madness starts tomorrow! Lets get snipped!
- Let me count
- Not hereditary
- It's covered by the HMO, I guess
- Who needs specifics?
- Hmmmm
- I'm not following this
- When dictation goes bad
- Sunday morning, 10:17 a.m.
- Saturday afternoon
- He's mad I tell you! Mad!
- March 13, 1918
- More from the Department of Contradiction
- BUSTED!!!
- I finally did it
- Thursday night, 8:47 p.m.
- Dear U.S. Census Department,
- Unpredictable
- Leave me out of it
- Things that make me grumpy
- Cookie reruns
- 20 Questions
- Kids today!
- More hairs fall out
- Sunday night, 7:45 p.m.
- Sunday weirdness
- Incongruity
- Saturday morning, 8:27 a.m.
- An opposing viewpoint
- Mary, bring me a sword
- Dear Dr. Staff,
- I am humbled
- Checkout time
- Annie's Desk, March 3, 2010
- Okay
- So there!
- I'll get you, my pretties! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
- Tuesday morning whatever
- Monday night, 7:05 p.m.
- Beating my head on the desk
- Yes, I'm juvenile
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March
(72)
13 comments:
HAahahahah. Sounds like me over the phone. Except that i have an incredibly deep voice (I'm a guy)... so it comes off as really, really dumb after the first few seconds of delightful sensuousness. This is why I don't leave messages over the phone. It always turns into an epic train wreck.
I leave long rambling messages too. Then I hang up the phone and slap myself for sounding like a dork. :P
next available (time slot)
I'm prone to do that... However, nothing was as bad as the literally 1 minute, 34 second voicemail from a friend (who did not identify herself in the beginning of the call) that could be summarized in two words, "Call me."
<>< Katie
And I'm willing to bet that Mrs. Ramble shot all that off at an auctioneer's pace. They always do, and they forget to leave their number, too.
I'd call her back but then I would have had to call her first to make it a "back" call. But I don't mean I'd be calling about her back, I mean I'd be calling her back but like I said to call her back I would have had to call her first. Now I know she called first, so I'd be calling second but . . . who's on first?
Haha. That's so awesome! Yeah, I don't leave messages for that reason either. The only way I leave messages is if I write down what I am going to say before I even call which is a bit more time consuming.
Who is this guy? Grandpa Simpson.
I hate it when the ramblers call in. I always know I'm in trouble when I ask for a brief description of their emergency and they preface with, 'Welp, I wuz seen in the awfice yestiddy..'
Is the problem Alzheimer's?
Shoot me now.
The worst is when these types leave a long message with the callback phone number at the end, garbled and rushed, which means it's necessary to listen again to the message in its entirety.
I occasionally have to try to comprehend the interminable and disjointed ramblings of clients at my office in Sonoma County. It seems that the further South, towards the bay, the person is, the more self-disclosure and whining colors the message.
Were I a Psychiatrist this wouldn't be too untoward, but I'm a Civil Engineer.
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