Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Training

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay... the MRI report says the study was normal, and this is a good doctor who read it."

Mrs. Kroger: "Yes, but it was horribly misread. I've been comparing my films to some I found on the internet, and here's a list of all the diseases I have that the radiologist missed."

Dr. Grumpy: "Are you a doctor?"

Mrs. Kroger: "No, I'm a cashier at Local Grocery."

30 comments:

ER's Mom said...

How is it that you still have hair?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Shitloads of Rogaine.

Anonymous said...

Meet the empowered patient.

Anonymous said...

Everybody knows cashiers can read results better than Dr's .That comes from all the informative magazines and newspapers in the checkout lanes

History Doc said...

Why, exactly, do we still have radiologists if you can just hold your ct up to the light and compare it to ones on the monitor?

C said...

Everyone is diagnosed by Dr. Google these days. You are no longer needed Dr. Grumpy. You can get rid of your Rogaine.

Anonymous said...

Looking for a disabilty check.

Carolyn said...

I've given up on doctors - the great unwashed masses know so much more! One of my co-irkers recently informed me that I would not need 2 elbow surgeries if I didn't knit so much. If only I had gone to her instead of to the board certified orthopedic surgeon ... who had approved of the knitting as physical therapy in an attempt to avoid surgery ...

Maybe I should tell my surgeon to ask her if she would mentor him or something ...

Anonymous said...

i don't think rogaine would work on you, admit it, you are wearing a wig!

Anonymous said...

Goggle-chondria FTW!

I've had to give up googling my condition/symptoms... it's too scary, and none of the sites give proper probability assessments. As in: these symptoms could indicate scary-deadly cancer, hideous-rare disease, or the common cold. Probability is scary-deadly cancer, 0.01%; hideous-rare disease, 0.01%; or the common cold 99.98%.

Li'l Azathoth said...

"You always have to ask yourself the key question: did you find everything you needed?"

Anonymous said...

"But I do radiology work on the side. I'm a lot cheaper than a board-certified radiologist, and that means a lot to an HMO."

Anonymous said...

"Sorry, Mrs. Kroger, but you have more than 15 diseases listed here, and I'm the express neurologist."

Anonymous said...

Oh, dear. How do you deal with patients like this, Dr. Grumpy?

--Queen Anne's Lace

T said...

Have you ever considered prescribing natural selection?

pharmacy chick said...

AND she stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night..so there!

Anonymous said...

@PharmacyChick, you forgot to mention she saved on her car insurance with Geico.

Maybe she sould just run her central nervous system past her barcode scanner and forget about MRIs altogether?

jimbo26 said...

The internet lies .

Anonymous said...

I've seen way too many radiologists misread reports. As the doc seeing the patient, you should be able to read them and make your own interpretations, rather than relying on a report. The report is only as good as the MD reading it. If that MD is rushed/ having a bad day, they might miss something or make an error. Our house neurologist never relies on only reports... he reads his own.

Anonymous said...

I've had radiologists misread MRI's of my knee.... and when I insisted on surgery, meniscus tears and bone spurs were found. You'd do well to learn how to read your own scans, rather than relying on someone else. I would certainly hope that defense wouldn't hold up in court.

Anonymous said...

I would love to know what diseases she believes are radiographic evident. Fibromyalgia?

Anonymous said...

Wow. I would have clasped my hands together and said "well in THAT case, lets just go with your diagnosis shall we?? And what medications does Dr.Google presribe then?? Because if I gave them to you ,it'd probably kill you, but hey, thats just some extra paperwork. So, what do you have in mind? In my office? Just so you can keep me informed and all"
Bloody Internet...(*

Outre said...

Let me guess...

MS due to: Scattered ‘white stuff’ - Reality: Ventricles and folds on T2, vessels on T1

Chari Malformation because some thingy is expending into the ‘spinal canal’. Reality: Nope, that’s still the Foramen magnum, not C2 canal.

Pinched nerve due to ‘rib' impinging into canal on sagittal scan. Reality: That’s the spinous processes.

OMG WHITE STUFF CANCER!!!!! Reality: Normal brain parts, calm the fudge down for Jebus’s sake (in Homer Simpson’s voice)

Sadly, all of of the above are stuff real people have said on patient boards. I’ve had to ‘prove’ my factual corrections with my own actually messed up scan images.

I’m ‘guilty’ of reading my own scans, heh. Had one awesome moment with my neuro when I picked up a tumor outside of CNS, but still nerve based tumor when he missed while pre-reviewing before the official report. He was quite amused, which I appreciated, since that to me means he’s confident enough to admit where his weaknesses are and are 100% comfortable working with me.

hoodnurse said...

No ma'am, that's not a subdural bleed, it appears you got some alfredo sauce on part of this here MRI.

Ms Anthrope said...

What is everyone whining about? I've four doctorates from Google-U.

ERP said...

diagnosis: Fibro.

Anonymous said...

Diagnosis: Hypochondria, complicated by stupidity.

cliffintokyo said...

Some people are just so in awe of electronic technology.......
You know, like, you can get nearly as much information from a modern cash register as you can get from an i-phone.....

WV: genesse (Gen SS?)
The new generation of SS technophobes?

Anonymous said...

My surgically-extracted baseball-sized endometrioma gets me about as much respect as someone like this.

Not only that, but a hematoma or endometrioma is obviously less of a health threat then 30 extra pounds over supermodel-size, even in a middle-aged woman.

Anonymous said...

Once again.... I hope you read your own reports. Otherwise, you're not fit to practice. I'm not trying to be mean, but the problems with medicine can be divided into these categories: 1. Docs unable to read their own films/ relying on others for diagnoses. 2. Internet medicine (which, in a way, you perpetuate/ support by blogging- after all, every person coming in with their own diagnosis does so because of the internet). 3. Inability to recognize psych issues or OVERdiagnosis of psych issues (generally used when the MD can't find a diagnosis... so the patient *must* be mentally ill). 4. See #1.

 
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