Saturday, December 3, 2011

Science, or something like that

Were you a perfectly straight heterosexual until you learned to drive, and then, upon getting your license, immediately developed an uncontrollable attraction for your own sex and switched to the other team?

Did you find that handling the steering wheel all-by-yourself made you want to start wildly screwing everything in site and use porn (I think I did, but it likely had more to do with 16 year-old-boy-hormones than my 1978 Datsun 810 station wagon).

In a stunning discovery, the highest religious council of Saudi Arabia has actually discovered these "facts," with a new report warning that if Saudi woman are allowed to drive the population will turn to homosexuality, prostitution, and pornography. It also noted that within 10 years of the ban being lifted, the nation would completely run out of virgins (REALLY!).

Read more here.

Thank you, P!

20 comments:

Sara L. Uckelman said...

You'd think that with the increased sexuality that lifting such a ban would bring that there would consequently be a lot more (very young) virgins.

[tongue firmly in cheek!]

Anonymous said...

Yeah, as if virginity is even the natural resource that keeps the world paying attention to Saudi Arabia.

Dr Killpatient said...

Well duh. Of course the virgins would disappear. They would all drive away from their abusive families and go get laid.

Officer Cynical said...

Prostitutes in cars, handing out pornography and picking up guys in coffee shops. Count me in!

Ole Phat Stu said...

Gives a hole(sic!) new meaning to "tailgating" ;-)

Cthulhu Sashimi said...

That's why you always see the lowest levels of homosexuality, prostitution, and pornography in dense cities that are walkable and well-served by mass transit, e.g., New York, San Francisco, Amsterdam, Berlin...

Mike Looney said...

Don't forget women wearing immodest clothing causes earthquakes.

Granted that was Iran, but same mindset.

Liz said...

NO VIRGINS?! You mean all the women will be having and even -gasp- ENJOYING sex?!? No wonder everyone is so worried! -.-

no-one said...

By that logic, shouldn't the country already be filled with gay male porn-reading prostitues?

Barb said...

The possibility that even a fraction of the population of Saudi Arabia would believe this crap is scary. And, they call America "The Evil Empire"???

The Quirked Eyebrow said...

Aren't they being married off before they would be old enough to drive? :P

LadybugAu said...

Whoa! Those Saudi women have some seriously awesome powers.

While I don't agree with Muslim teachings, its douchecanoes, highest order douchecanoes, like this that give believers a bad name.

The stupidity in this story is headache inducing. Why aren't they laughed out of power?

jimbo26 said...

In the report Professor Subhi described sitting in a coffee shop in an unnamed Arab state.
‘All the women were looking at me,’ he wrote. ‘One made a gesture that made it clear she was available... this is what happens when women are allowed to drive.’

In his dreams .

Anonymous said...

That's actually pretty evolved of them, to consider lesbian acts as equally offensive devirginizing.

Anonymous said...

Don't listen to the narrative of this, but instead watch these two jokers on Thanksgiving Day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzlg3oQMze4

Anonymous said...

You know, since I got my licence 12 years ago I have become a rampaging sex addict who stars in pornos. I also traffic drugs, I've been married 9 times and invented a time machine so I could go back and cause the NZ earthquake. I was wearing a bikini and red stiletttoes. I did wonder what the trigger point was in my life, thank you Saudi Arabia for clearing that up.

cliffintokyo said...

Awsum! With 'officer cynical' here.
Moving to the middle east asap.

WV: fistize
The only drawback is that women have fathers who have formidable left hooks when enraged....

puzzled said...

So the Saudi men who drive are all homosexuals and prostitutes? Strange country. I suppose their all into pornography, too. That explains why the women keep their faces covered. I'd be embarrassed, too.

Anonymous said...

Ah the delightful variability of the human mind...what one can rationalize to defend one's view of the world...from Jon Stewart..to Fox News to this delightful piece from Saudi Arabia.

BLINDERS ON! FULL SPEED AHEAD!! W00T!!

History Doc said...

Yes, and women driving leads to pestilence, famine and earthquakes, too.

But running out of virgins is far worse.

 
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