He is pretending to be barfing, pretending to be achy, and pretending to have a fever (I think he had the thermometer in Snowball's ass before putting it in his own mouth to fake that one).
Okay, so he's not really faking (it sure sounded better, though). But anyway, I'm not allowing him anywhere near the computer until he's unlikely to puke on it.
I need him healthy and back to work so he can continue to support my lavish school-nurse lifestyle. And because Mary pulls her hair out if she has to reschedule a whole day of patients. And we don't want her to be bald.