Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I'll get you, my pretties! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Ms. West: "Yes, I need to make an appointment."

Mary: "Okay, we can see you tomorrow afternoon... What's your insurance?"

Ms. West: "I have Medicare."

Mary: "I'm sorry, we aren't currently taking any new Medicare patients."

Ms. West: "What? Why not?"

Mary: "The new Medicare cuts went into effect this week and..."

Ms. West: "My internist cut me because of this, too. This is ridiculous. I can't find anyone who takes Medicare!

Mary: "I'm sorry, but..."

Ms. West: "I'm putting a hex on your office."

Mary: "Excuse me?"

Ms. West: "I'm serious. I'm a modern witch, and am putting a hex on your office and..."

Mary: "Good bye." (hangs up)


No, I'm not making this up. This was a first for my practice. And that says a lot.

29 comments:

Flying Monkeys said...

Oh, man, it would have been so utterly cool if right in that moment Mary could have channeled Glinda!

Kat's Kats said...

Tell Mary that the next time a patient says this that they need to put a spell on the legislators instead so that you can afford to take Medicare again. ::stares innocently at the ceiling::

Rachael said...

oh no. i hope the hex doesn't mean the end of diet coke!

Maha said...

Those are some serious threats so you all better be careful. But I kind of feel bad for her - dropped by her doctor and now can't get accepted by a new one.

Kim Kasch said...

Mary should have said, "You have no power here."

Anonymous said...

What else can one irrationally do? Take out an ad in the classifieds? Write a letter to the editor? In a fit of rationality, contact the AMA? Desperate times call for some interesting alternate rationalities.

Definitely an interesting and creative response. (I hope there aren't too many voodoo practitioners in the area.)

Anonymous said...

she should put a hex on the congressmen and women who did the Medicare cuts!

Anonymous said...

Maybe she can find a witch doctor who takes Medicare.

Anonymous said...

With the rise in nasty STDs out there, I really hope she practices safe hex.

Word Verficiation: Sluiti.

Priceless.

Julie said...

glad to see the universe can still surprise you ...

j said...

How about if they said, "Medicare and out of pocket?"

John Woolman said...

Better collect up your hair & fingernail trimmings for a while.....

webhill said...

I have a question. I don't know anything about Medicare or how it works really, so bear with me. I know that if someone presents herself as a Medicare patient, but says "I'll pay cash to make up the difference," you can not accept that person while still refusing other Medicare people so you end up just not accepting them. HOWEVER, what if someone presents herself to you as an uninsured individual with cash to pay? If she'd said to Mary "I'm going to just pay cash," would you have taken her? And then, is there a way for her to file the claims on her own by submitting the bills, without dragging you into it? Just curious. I certainly don't advocate lying to one's physician, but I've heard of people who can't get care because of having Medicare, when they are totally able to pay the difference, and it seems really sad. Or, what if they just don't even file a claim at all but simply pay for your office calls out of pocket, and then only try to get paid for any hospitalizations or big diagnostics? So they act like a cash patient all along and then later on say "um, we're going to need to bill Medicare for this, it's too much." Is that even possible? Again, I know it's unethical to lie to a physician and I don't recommend it. I'm just curious about how this stuff works.

Anonymous said...

If she was really Wiccan then she would have known the this sort of behavior (dark magic) is forbidden as it tends to bounce the evil intent back at the person sending the hex.

I am boringly Catholic but have a Wiccan family member. Just about any spiritual discipline will tell you that "whatever goes around, comes around!"


Pattie, RN

Kat's Kats said...

@ Pattie, RN - True, but she might not have been Wiccan... there are a couple of modern Pagan trads that don't follow the Rule of Three as well as individual practitioners. It makes for as interesting debates as some of the Christian denominational debates!

I'm Episcopalian raised CofC but I have a Wiccan & one Norse Pagan family member as well as friends who are various Pagan flavors as well.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't surprise me. Years ago when I worked for an insurance company we had to reissue a new policy because the applicant wouldn't accept the one sent her - Policy Number 466666666. The mark of the beast, you know.....

Bulrush said...

Sprinkle holy water on the woman: "The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!"

Heh.

The Mother said...

My sister is a practicing Wiccan. She's also one of the sanest people I know.

That's saying a lot, isn't it?

Old MD Girl said...

I had a 4 year old patient tell me that she was a witch.....

I guess it becomes a problem once one enters adulthood. I wonder if her witch-ness is part of her pathology?

Kat's Kats said...

That depends, are her parents Pagan??

Anonymous said...

How about several dozen farm-fresh eggs and sides of beef?

Anonymous said...

Pennsylvania Dutch hex signs refer to six (sehks)-pointed stars, not a really bad thing--could be quite colorful on the side of a barn.

Anonymous said...

The world will be a much better place when we old folks finally shuffle off this mortal coil, stripped of our assets and dignity by the very society we created.

Anonymous said...

It's not like she could order and interpret her own episiotomy...I mean, EEG. Whatever.

bb said...

I was in my bosses office and was telling him about this post. He googled "hex breaker" and wow! There's a lot of sites on breaking hexes.

We are in the middle of a big deadline and my boss is googling "hex breaker." Who would have thunk that there are are over 120,000 internet sites devoted to breaking hexes.

ERP said...

I wonder if she bought a Dr Grumpy doll and pokes you in effigy.

Sarah G said...

I am a practicing Pagan, and I think Mary's response was the correct one (i.e. click). If this woman was so all-fired powerful, she could do better than Medicare, couldn't she?

Melissa said...

Once you know they're Medicare, you can't accept them as patients. So it would be GREAT if they presented themselves as cash patients and then just shut up about it. The problem is: Medicare patients don't want to pay for ANYTHING. Not even $2 for meds. Erego, they will always announce they have medicare.

I hated turning em away from my old practice. Always such a runaround.

And my current boyfriend? Has Medicare....

Anonymous said...

So, not all the hexes stay in Texas, or Tennessee?

 
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