Thursday, April 1, 2010

My readers write

I'd like to thank my reader Amy, who sent this earlier:

Dr. Grumpy,

I am a faithful reader who checks in a couple times a day, and often I am shaking my head at the antics of your patients. Like others, I wonder sometimes if you write it up for the purposes of humor, because can people really be that idiotic?

This morning, I went to the doctors office early to have my fasting blood work drawn for an annual physical. My internist is in a large medical building with several practices on two floors. I overheard an older man say to the receptionist: "I have an appointment, but I'm not sure who it's with. I don't know the doctor's name or what it's for, but my appointment is at 8am this morning."

Dr. Grumpy, I now believe every word you write, verbatim.

Thank you for your great blog.


You're quite welcome, Amy. Thank you guys for reading it!

I refer you to the crazy patient scale, which I posted last Summer. To give credit, it was written by ER's Mom. And I thought it was just awesome.

Levels of Patient Crazy

1. Normal. They exist, even constitute the majority of patients. They make poor blog fodder, however, so you wouldn't know that that they even exist from reading any medical blog.

2. Crazy. These are the "fun crazy" folks. A little off, but you don't cringe when you see them on the schedule.

3. Bat-shit crazy. Your stomach drops a little when you see the name on the schedule.

4. Fucking Nuts. These folks seem intent on driving YOU nuts too.

5. Mouth agape and head shaking. You are lost for words upon meeting these folks. Fortunately, they are rare.


Anonymous said...

are the majority of your patients actually normal?

Anonymous said...

One of our doctor refers to the "mouth agape" patients as Dementors (yes, like Harry Potter)
To quote him:
" I come in contact with them and it's like all my hope for the human race is just forcefully sucked out of my soul"

ER's Mom said...

Thanks for the plug!

Sometimes, I feel like Scar from The Lion King: I'm surrounded by idiots.

Love that line.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Yes, the majority are normal. But nobody wants to read about them.

Kat's Kats said...

I have to admit that I have actually said to a receptionist, "I am so sorry, but I am brain dead this morning. I forgot to write down who I am seeing this morning. My name is X X. My date of birth is x/xx/xxxx and my appointment time is x. Are you able to look and tell who it is I am supposed to see?" I also say thank-you.

I do plead Topomax & fibromyalgia... oh and sometimes being an idiot and not writing down who my appointment is with in my Black Book (trust me, I lose appointment cards!)... and there was that time with the Evile Migraine from Hell. But that was with a new physician, which was why I couldn't remember who I was seeing.

kate sweeten said...

Dr. Grumpy, reading your blog made me feel better about my job - until I found it, I hadn't realized that I wasn't the only one surrounded by crazy people all day! I started to wonder if I had taken a job in the psych ward and not realized it. I had a whole herd of the #4's (your stomach drops when you see their name on the schedule) the other was exhausting.


You forgot #6 on the scale: just call the cops when you see their name on the schedule.

Burger Doodle Chicks said...

Dr. G-
Definitely thanks for the blog, it cheers us up on a daily basis! We're technically not in the psych ward, but I've gotten to where I can tell what kind of interaction it's going to be just by the way someone is walking. That's when we decide where they fall on the scale, 6's happen!

Jeremy said...

We, thankfully, only have a handful of 5's. Unfortunately, there are a lot of 3's and 4's in the world.

rapnzl rn said...

" I come in contact with them and it's like all my hope for the human race is just forcefully sucked out of my soul"

Hmmm. I believe we have some of those in my hospital. The really scary part is that they work there.

Layne said...

Amy, I worked in a pedes office for 5 years. I can personally assure you that every word he writes is true!

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