Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Dr. Grumpy, uncaffeinated jackass

It's early morning. I need some caffeine. I'm in the little kitchen on Local Hospital's neurology floor. And I'm pissed off.

Dr. Grumpy (yelling at no one in particular): "This is bullshit!" (slams cabinet) "Who the hell puts stuff away here?!!!" (slams drawer).

Nurse Understandablyannoyed comes into the kitchen: "What's wrong?"

Dr. Grumpy: "All I want is some freakin' sweetener for my coffee! And I've been through every damn cabinet and every damn drawer in here! And there's none! I thought they were keeping these stocked!"

Nurse Understandablyannoyed: "They do. It's..."

Dr. Grumpy: "Then where is it?!!! I've looked everywhere in here!"

Nurse Understandablyannoyed: "... it's in the box on the counter, about a foot in front of you, out in the open."

(Long pause)

Dr. Grumpy (red-faced): "Yes. I knew that. I was, uh, just testing you."

29 comments:

The Plaid Cow said...

I spent twenty minutes this Saturday looking for my sunglasses, before my wife looked at me and asked if I was looking for the ones on my hat--which I was wearing. How was I supposed to remember that is where I put them? And why did it take twenty minutes for anyone else to look at me and see the obvious?

Donkaloosa said...

So how did your foot taste with your coffee?

Packer said...

I think you are supposed to use sweetener only with de caffeinated coffee. You use sugar with the regular. It is in the instruction manual.

So the hospital is just like being at home ?

Side note, if you ever get little packets of Sugar in the Raw, steal them for later use, you'll thank me.

SuFu PhD said...

Must be a Dr. thing. I do it all the time. If it weren't for my wife and the research associate in the lab I would never know where anything is or get anything done.

CholeraJoe said...

I started drinking mine black back in residency because finding sugar or cream in the ICU was too much of a pain in the ass.

Mark In Mayenne said...

I am not very good at finding things, generally. Some things, however, I know exactly where they are, so I look for them where I know they should be.

When they're not there, I get annoyed and ask the wife "Where's the XYZ?? It should be here".

The reply is often "Here, I knew you would need it so I got it out for you3

Gaaa! Why does she do that?

The Nite Nurse said...

Coffee? Where is the Diet Coke?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

I was desperate. The Diet Coke was downstairs, and I didn't have time.

The Nite Nurse said...

Ah. I was worried for a minute that the very fabric of the world was ripping apart.

Also I am so glad we have a vending machine upstairs as well as down. :)

kate said...

Yeah...I just go with black coffee because it's faster and requires less time tracking down where everyone left all of the other stuff :)

Moose said...

PLEASE tell me you then apologized for your behaviour. Don't make me get Mrs School Nurse Grumpy to smack you upside the head for having a temper tantrum at work!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Oh, did I ever. I was horribly embarrassed.

bobbie said...

LMAO...

A Doc 2 Be said...

#1 reason for fountain diet coke in the morning over lotsa ice!

No looking for sweeteners, no temper tantrums due to caffeine w/drawal, no red-faced boobish behavior...

yep, diet coke is where its at!

(btw, the word verification for this is "ashou" which sounds vaguely like the way the youngster uttered similarly in Meet the Parents 2)

Haven said...

Hah! My favorite is searching frantically for my 'lost' glasses because I've forgotten that I wore my contacts that day.

Jon said...

"about a foot in front of you, out in the open." That is exactly where my wife puts stuff in the fridge so that I will never find it.

Kitty~Amber said...

I wonder what the chances are of that nurse blogging the same exact thing...

Anonymous said...

SuFu PhD
Sorry, it is not a doctor thing - it is a guy thing. Just read these comments. Why do women have to remember where everything is? And why do men run around throwing tantrums like toddlers when they can't find something?
-whitecap nurse

Jess said...

Mmmmmm. Coffee.

beardies3 said...

Ha ha. I married your brother. :-)

Anonymous said...

Is it true that men have more rods in their eyes and women have more cones so men can only see things straight in front and womens' peripheral vision is better?

Watercolor said...

aaaahahahahahaaaaaahaaaaa!!!

The Mother said...

Time to buy lunch for the office in a gesture of goodwill and humility. That's what I do when I screw up.

Anonymous said...

I was told by a nursing colleague that this is actually a neurological condition that mostly affects those with the Y chromosome.... It is called "Man Eyes Syndrome". Occasionally women, too, suffer from it, thus the saying, "I'm looking with my man eyes". :)

a.generic doc said...

So those gremlins that hide things until you look in the same place the 3rd time have moved from my office to your coffee room.

Please keep them!

Navigating Northward said...

I'm not a medical professional, but I call it "Male Pattern Blindness" and my husband and teenage son have it too.

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Women have Uterine Tracking Devices UTD’s. We used to set up a tally sheet on Saturday mornings in the restaurant placing wagers on whose hubby would call first and whose most often. Even those of us who have had hysts are better than our spouses.

Happy Vegemite said...

You obviously had a 'boys look' for the sweetener as we say down here in Australia.

C said...

you needed a pre-coffee coffee to enable you to find this.

 
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