Wednesday, June 1, 2011

AGAIN?

Mrs. Powder: "Sorry I'm a few minutes late, I had to drop my husband off at the ER."

Dr. Grumpy: "Is he okay?"

Mrs. Powder: "Oh he's fine. He was cleaning his guns, and shot himself, again."

Dr. Grumpy: "Oh my..."

Mrs. Powder: "You'd think he'd get over being such a baby about it. I made him wait in the car until I'd finished the laundry. Anyway, at the last visit you had me try Maxalt, and I like it. Do you have any more samples?"

31 comments:

Chrysalis Angel said...

He probably wasn't cleaning his gun. ;/

Mal said...

Again?

What, he didn't learn to unload the gun first after doing it once?

If I was the wife, I wouldn't have finished the laundry, I would have been taking his darn guns, and burying them in the back yard.

KimTheNole said...

Someone needs to have their guns taken away, that's for sure!

Julie said...

again?

right ....

rule 1 - alcohol and guns don't mix
rule 2 - unload gun before cleaning
rule 3 - see rule 1 ....

Haven said...

Wha?!?! Wow. Just wow, haha.

Pam said...

Oh by the way, do you know how to get blood stains out of car upholstery?

Pissed Off Patient said...

That is all kinds of messed up. It shouldn't be funny but it is.

Mrs. Powder is made of stern stuff. Hope it's stern enough to take the guns away.

M

Packer said...

Mrs. Powder is setting the stage, hmmmm two prior ER reports of gun discharges.....Mr. P don't go increasing your life insurance

BTW, this stuff is just too scary to contemplate, so I'll stick to laughing about it.

The Merry said...

"Oh honey, I missed you -- again."

PA Honeybee said...

How can a person be so nonchalant about that kind of stupidity? Then she made him wait!? Good Lord! As a teenager, my dad taught me to always unload the magazine/cartridge BEFORE cleaning so you don't have an unfortunate accident. I have never physically cleaned a gun in my life but my nonetheless, I know this. Geez, she may need a psychiatrist too. Who says their injured hubby is a baby and finishes laundry first?

ndenunz said...

That is one cold calculating woman. No wonder she's a migraineur.

Mallory said...

Actually, I can picture my Grandma finishing the laundry, mopping up the blood and putting the guns and cleaning gear away while Grandad waited in the car (sitting on plastic trash bags, so as not to stain the upholstry). Then she'd come out, and say,"I have my list, dear, so on the way back we can return the library books, stop at the pharmacy and the dry-cleaner. No point wasting the trip."

Suz said...

I suspect I would like Mrs. Podwer if we ever met.

Moose said...

I'm torn between liking this woman and thinking that someone should dig a big hole, throw in the guns, and throw her in after 'em.

Cthulhu Sashimi said...

"You know my husband, always accidentally putting stuff in his own coffee. By the way, do you know the LD50 of Maxalt?"

Calladus said...

He should take up archery. No way to shoot yourself while cleaning...

What? He did? Again?!

A Doc 2 Be said...

NOT RELATED

This was true email sent to me today - I don't post funnies on my blog (I should):

"Steve, with Apples, had his grandfather pass away and the funeral is on Wednesday."

Haha - seriously - $125k/year project manager wrote that to 15 people; wondering how Steve exactly 'had' his g-father pass away... and you thought you were the only one privy to misprepositionally phrased sentences.

(names changed to protect the inept and the bereaved, respectively)

Still giggling in Minnie.

Amy said...

Not the healthiest of marriages, I think.

Loren Pechtel said...

I do agree it's major league stupidity and the guy certainly shouldn't be anywhere near firearms but given her attitude I suspect that the injury was pretty minor.

The Mother said...

At least she handles stress well?

Pharmacy Chick said...

WTF...cleaning a loaded gun? He doesn't need a neurologist...he doesnt' HAVE a brain.

Anonymous said...

I think Mrs. Powder must be related to my mother. She too takes pride in her ability to bear stoically another's pain.
My father never shot himself, but he did once rest a chainsaw on his knee, while the chain was running...maybe such self-inflicted injuries come with being married to a mean b*tch.

NotCathy said...

OMG! I think he wouldn't clean his gun again..

Finding One's Way said...

Take the Guns Away fast before he blows someones head off..
This is my first time to you site...
Loved it..
xoxo
Jessica

Anonymous said...

She's gonna have to start cleaning the guns as well before the dumb shit hurts himself seriously.

minimedic said...

I have to ask: What type of gun was he cleaning, and how bad was the injury?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Minimedic- no idea. He wasn't my patient.

Tee said...

What kind of a man gets his clothes all bloody from a gunshot wound when his wife is almost done with the laundry? (said with complete sarcasm, of course)

I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry at this one! Please, take away the guns!

Lois said...

She made him wait while he was injured by a bullet? She'd better worry about which way he'll point the gun next time.

RSDS said...

While my Dad never shot himself while cleaning any of his guns, he did manage to put holes in a few things like the headboard of the bed, and a window or two.

WV: herfala - Would that be Mrs. Powder's husband, or some alfalfa hay for her?

MarcW said...

Let me provide a little translation here to those of you not highly familiar with firearms.

It is physically impossible to clean a loaded gun. When somebody says, "I was cleaning the gun and it went off," what that means in English is, "I was playing with the gun and it went off." You may have been playing with it with the intent of cleaning it when you were done playing with it, but you were not cleaning it. You were playing with it.

Never mind the fast that "it went off" ascribes the firearm both sapience and ability which it does not have. It went off because of some action that a sapient being took, not of its own accord.

So, the complete translation of "I was cleaning the gun and it went off," we see, is "I was thinking about cleaning the gun and I picked it up and was playing with it and accidentally shot myself."

 
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