Kids, when you come to my office with your friends, it is extremely important that you remember which of you had what complaint.
I know that when you come to me during recess (usually the one before your math test), you do not have a note from the teacher telling me what your symptoms are. Generally, if something were hurting you, I'd assume you'd remember what it was. But, silly me, this isn't always the case.
By way of example, 2 of you demonstrated today how it should NOT be done. Faker and her bff Fakess came by today, with Faker complaining of sand in her eye and Fakess complaining that her hand was hurting.
Skool Nerse: "Which hand is it?"
Fakess: "The one I write with."
Skool Nerse: "And that is...?"
Fakess: "Um, did my Mom put it on that card she filled out?"
Skool Nerse: "No."
Fakess: "Okay it's, um, uh, ah, this one?"
Skool Nerse: "That's the hand that hurts? Is that the one you write with?"
Fakess: "Let me think..."
Skool Nerse: "You do that." (turns to Faker) "What's wrong with you?"
Faker: "I have sand in my eye."
Skool Nerse: "Which eye?"
Faker: "This one."
Skool Nerse: (carefully examines eyeball) "Hmm... I don't see any sand, or redness..."
Fakess: "Oh, that's because I'm the one with sand in my eye".
Faker: "Yeah, I forgot. It was her. I hurt my hand, this one."
As you can see, this duo made a number of mistakes that might have been avoided with a little practice beforehand. Therefore, kids, when trying to lie your way out of math tests, please remember that consistency in doing so is the key.
This has been a public service announcement.