Saturday, February 13, 2010

On call and sick

Call is not joyful,
And fun it is not
When you have to take call
With a nose full of snot.

With a throat full of phlegm
The constant clearing (ahem)
And a head full of pain
And a fuzzy clogged brain

It is so hard to round
When you want to fall to ground
Your muscles are mud
With bad bugs in your blood

And you go home to rest
But the ER knows best
And they dial your cell
So you drive back to hell

But your throat feels sore
So you're a Tylenol whore
With boogers you abhor
Give me Sudafed- MORE!

This fucking sucks
Regardless of the bucks
I hate being on call
That is all.


nRT said...

That is the perfect I HATE CALL poem. My husband's personality changes when he is on call. When the cell or pager goes off I cringe. Hope you feel better soon.

Could make a
I Hate Call Poem T Shirt (w/o the cold and flu details). I will buy at least 3.

Anonymous said...

Dr. G, I hope you feel better soon!

John Woolman said...

My wife is on call as well this weekend. Sigh. So much for a nice Valentine's Day meal. And she has a streaming cold too! There's a lot of it about and there'll be more after the weekend!

ERP said...

Signed Theodore Giesel-Grumpy MD.

Feel better

Bibliotekaren said...

Well done! I'm a rhyming verse fan having first dabbled with that to tell my cranie story.

Sorry you're sick. Being ill while being expected to still function in the world is harsh isn't it?

I'd love to hear more rhyming verse -- when you're feeling better, of course.

Veronica T said...

I have had the worst cold for 2 weeks. I'm also on call tomorrow (overnight until about noon on Monday), albeit as a third year medical student, but I feel your pain.

Feel better, Dr. G!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Hope you can look forward to a hot shower (to help flush out the phlegm), a hot cup of tea (or other drink that soothes throat and keeps you from dehydration), hot salt water gargle, and a 5-hour phone call-free afternoon nap soon.

Anonymous said...

I just got rid of a bad head cold a few days ago myself... couldn't breathe or sleep much, and I still had my night shift job to show up for. Just boring shelf stacking, at least. I sympathise.

terri c said...

Truly splendid poem. Sorry you are ill, and hope you can infect some worthy souls while on call. I am on call with a broken bone in my foot.

The Nallac Man said...

I do not like green snot and phlegm,
I do not like them, Sick-I-Am.

Would you like them in your nose?
Would you like them on your toes?

Would you like them in your pocket?
Would you like them in the light socket?

Not in my nose,
Not on my toes,
Not in my pocket,
Not in the light socket,

I do not like green snot and phlegm,
I do not like them, Sick-I-Am.

Would you like them on your Wii?
Would you like them in your tea?

Would you like them on your toast?
Would you like them with your pot roast?

bellivas said...

extreme laughter!i was laughing until i felt tears!sofia ,from greece ,pulmonologist.

Reality Jayne said...

So what your trying to say is....your a little under the weather?....hehehe

Anonymous said...

Oh my G.D.
That was... profound.

student dr. blaze said...

Wow. You do realize that most people can't write that well when they're healthy, don't you? It may be time for you to start penning the next great book, be it poetry or prose. Very impressive. *applauds*

Moose said...

Poor Doctor Grumpy
It truly sucks being sick
So please get well soon

All us Grumpy fans
worry so much about you
Aardvarks are cool beasts

There is nothing worse
than trying to round with the
Plastic bear vomit

[today's captcha word
is "ledial" -- this must be
French: turn le dial]

J-Quell'n said...

Awww...feel better, Grumps <3

Chrysalis said...

Hope you feel better soon.

Sunflower RN said...

I feel for you. I was quietly recovering from a nice little concussion (tripped and fell into the wall at work) when along came the cold from hell, so now I am tired and dizzy and snotty. Good job on the poem. Hope you feel (fell) better soon.

Dana said...

I hope you feel better soon. May all the calls you take be necessary. May all the doctors/nurses/patients be nice and respectful. May you get enough rest so that you are well enough to work next week.

Anonymous said...

Two too clever poets. Hope the colds pass quickly (as well as the on-call duty).

Maha said...


If you have to be sick, at least you got a brilliant poem out of it! Mango green tea with honey is your friend.

Pedi said...

Wow it seems like you are always on call. Maybe you need more call partners?

ShrinkingDoc said...


Hope you're feeling better.

TracyKM said...

Sounds a lot like being an at-home mom while sick.
I highly recommend a Neti pot!

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