Sunday, February 14, 2010

Dear ICU Nurses,

I'm really, really, really, sorry.

I feel terrible. And I know I will pay for the consequences of my actions.

But it's been a horrible shitty awful weekend on call.

And it isn't MY fault that one of you put A WHOLE BOX of Reese's peanut butter & chocolate valentine hearts next to the phone I was dictating on.

So I'm sorry there aren't any left now.

Yours truly,

Ibee "Dr. Fatso" Grumpy

29 comments:

Shoebee said...

You SHOULD feel bad!! Shame on you. Never get between a nurse and chocolate, you should know better. I won't feel bad if you get called a dozen times tonight!!!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Oh, I know. And my scale will make me regret it, too.

stewbert said...

*snort* if you were eating while dictating, an apology to the transcriptionist wouldn't hurt, too. ;) though I have to say, listening to someone eat is preferable to some of the other things we hear (like docs using the bathroom and not washing their hands ... or setting up affairs with same-gender escorts at local hotels ... yeah ...)

Ashley said...

Get yourself to a Walmart and buy a few boxes of sale candy. The good kind. You need all the help you can get to make up for that!

Dennis said...

But man are those things good! That is the bad part about working retil pharmacy! We have a WHOLE aisle dedicated to (insert holiday of choice) candy to enjoy!

Anonymous said...

Naughty naughty. Whatever was that nurse thinking? That it would get eaten? Maybe, not by her? Maybe, she'd get to buy treats, think of eating treats, and yet not bring home the padding? But, couldn't you have left just one?

Metformin said...

So, if it's not too late, go buy TWO boxes of said offending candy (bet you'd get a good price if you can find them)and drop them off at the nurses station. From goat to hero in less than six seconds!

Marco said...

Well, you KNOW what the right thing is to do...a 5 # box of See's candy for those (now) deprived ICU nurses...

Anonymous said...

You better show up with a huge grovel gift the next time your dainty ass trots up there.

You must have had a serious death wish tonight to pull that stunt.

How could you not power barf after eating all that chocolate and peanut butter?

LD50 Rat

River said...

Buy another box and put it where the first one was. Keep your hands off it...

PharmJam said...

'The day someone combined peanut butter and chocolate.' -
An important day in history!

Anonymous said...

We'll forgive you since we know you've been under the weather.
But I doubt the ICU nurses will be so forgiving.
You had better make amends with more chocolate or you will regret it. CardioNP

Kat's Kats said...

You are a bad man and shall doubtless come to a bad end. Of course, I can't say much since I ate chocolate silk pie for lunch, then a piece of cherry pie, and I haven't let anyone have any of the dark chocolate peanut M&Ms. I don't look forward to checking the scale in the morning.

Of course, if you can manage to sneak in some other chocolate... after all, it's going to be half price now so you can get better quality for the replacement.

terri c said...

I say that was entrapment, Dr. Grumpy!

rapnzl rn said...

And I suppose putting the candy into your mouth wasn't YOUR fault either?

Every high-stress area in the hospital has an unwritten rule. NEVER admit to, apologize for, or have the tiniest smidgeon of regret for eating the last chocolate ANYTHING.

That is, unless you have more to share....

Love your show, doc!

Miss Kismet said...

That's bad juju Dr. G....they might start lacing them with laxatives if you do that too much!

RxKerBer said...

What is your wii fit trainer going to say?!?!

And the whole box?!? Ugh....did they have to give you some insulin or did you just go into a little coma?

Albinoblackbear said...

Oh DAMN! And *good* chocolate too! tsk tsk.

Ah well, I look forward to the tales which will result due to your bad nursing Karma. Heh.

ER's Mom said...

And won't Wii make some fat comment too?

Anonymous said...

you need to buy the ICU nurses PIZZA and a variety of chocolates. No cheap crap either. maybe then, they might forgive you.. and how's the xtra lbs added on? bet you weren't feeling so well. I bet Mrs Grumpy gave you a piece of her mind, too.

signed,
mm

Old MD Girl said...

Replace them x2. That is the only way they will ever forgive you.

Anonymous said...

We have a doc that eats everything in sight and doesnt share or say thank you so we know to hide the goods and keep pot lucks a secret when hes working, there a few on this list and I think u have been added to the "Dr.Greedy Pig" list lol

Grumpy, M.D. said...

I made a trip out and got them a bagel tray- and replacement chocolates - this morning.

Amanda said...

NOTHING can replace Reese's except an exact replica. Preferably in triplicate.

Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Had to comment just because the word verification was "sherit".

Funny how people will buy and bring in stuff they would never buy for themselves, not at all claiming innocence here....

Mari-Ann said...

I also have to comment because the word verification is "gried". I LOVE this blog!

me said...

If that had been any ICU I've ever worked in, you would be being 'treated' to a WHOLE lotta 0300 STAT calls for MOM or Tylenol!!!

Anonymous said...

Last year their was "the biggest loser" competition on the unit. Everyone brought in chocolate, cookies....etc. To try to get OTHER people to eat. Apparently the winnings were pretty good...

DreamingTree said...

Nice replacements, Dr. Grumpy. When I was dating my husband, he dropped by my house very stressed out. My mother had a pot of sauce with meatballs cooking on the stove. While telling us about his day, he absentmindedly ate almost every meatball in the pot. I'll never forget my father's face (mixture of amusement & horror). Not a way to impress your future MIL.

 
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