Thursday, June 12, 2014

Ma-Ma-Ma Bell

 Mrs. Dementia lives with her daughter. She's on the ball enough to remember that she doesn't like me because I took away her driver's license, but that's about it. Anyway...

Mrs. Dementia: "Hello?"

Mary: "Hi, Mrs. Dementia. This is Mary, from Dr. Grumpy's office."

Mrs. Dementia: "Hi, Mary. You have the wrong number. I don't live here anymore."

Mary: "Okay, well, I'm calling to remind you about your appointment tomorrow."

Mrs. Dementia: "I won't be able to go. My daughter's car isn't working, and can't be fixed. I can't go to doctor appointments anymore."

Mary: "Is your daughter there?"

Mrs Dementia: "No, she drove to the grocery store because we're out of bread."

Mary: "Can you have her call me when she gets home?"

Mrs. Dementia: "She doesn't live here anymore, either. I don't know when she'll be home."

Mary: "Okay, I'll just call back later, thank you."

Mrs. Dementia: "You can't. Our phone is broken, and no one has been able to reach us for days."

Mary: "Does your daughter have her cell phone with her?"

Mrs. Dementia: "That's broken, too. I think you have a wrong number."

Mary: "Okay. Thank you. I'll try..."

Mrs. Dementia: "Our phone is broken, so don't try to call back. The grocery man told us it can't be fixed."

Daughter (picks up extension): "Hello? This is Sue. Mom, who are you talking to?"

Mrs. Dementia: "I'm sorry Sue, I think you also have a wrong number."

Mary: "This is Mary, at Dr. Grumpy's office."

Mrs. Dementia: "Our phone is broken, and we can't hear you."

Sue: "Hi, Mary. Is this about tomorrow?"

Mary: "Yes, at 2:45.

Sue: "We'll be there."

Mrs. Dementia: "You both have a wrong number because the phone is broken. I didn't hear it ring."

Mary: "Thank you. See you then."


Moe said...

Got to give her points for trying.

jimbo26 said...

Lol , brilliant .

arzt4empfaenger said...

Wow. I couldn't come up with such a weird conversation. Love aside, it must be hard to live with a parent like this.

J said...

Such a sweet conversation. That must help balance all of the deliberately rude/obtuse callers you have.

Andy Syms said...

So sad... but totally hilarious.

Anonymous said...

I think you have to try to chuckle about these types of conversations because otherwise it would be too scary.

I pray I never see my parents in that situation.

Anonymous said...

I now have my script for the next time the door-to-door salesman comes by.

tbunni said...

Anon 9:03 - You are so right. With dementia, my mother became loud and agressive. But she gave us a gem to remember: "I don't remember forgetting anything!!" Sometimes the only response is to laugh or cry. Laughter helps.

Silliyak said...

"No one's home" would have been a nice addition

Anonymous said...

I have come to the realization that several of my patients are not necessarily hard of hearing, but hard of listening. It should be a diagnostic code, since its prevalence is rather widespread.

The Patient Doc said...

I've had a few demented patients and sometimes it's sad, sometimes it's hilarious, and other times it's downright frustrating. Makes life interesting.

OMDG said...

Thank goodness she has Sue!

Don said...

after hearing that conversation, I am glad you took away her drivers license

Hildy said...

Reminds me of my grandfather. He did not speak English except for a few words and never used the phone. So if the phone rang, it was never for him. When home alone, he would thus answer the phone by saying, "Nobody home. Goodbye." and hang up. I've often wondered what callers must have thought.

bobbie said...

Another reason Mary needs a raise!!

Mal said...

Hilarious, but hell to live with, probrably.
My gran stopped recognising me when I was in my teens. She lived another 5 years, but to me my grandma had died years before. There was a quite sweet demented old woman sitting in her wheelchair, but it wasn't my gran.

CatHerder said...

My dad's getting dementia, and since I don't talk to him anymore I don't know whether it's the angry kind or the sweet kind (probably the angry kind). I can imagine him doing this to someone.

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