Thursday, June 13, 2013

Mary's desk

Mrs. Damadian: "Hello?"

Mary: "Hi, Mrs. Damadian. This is Mary, at Dr. Grumpy's office."

Mrs. Damadian: "Yes?"

Mary: "We got your MRI report in - the doctor says it's fine - so I'm calling to make an appointment for you guys to discuss your treatment plan."

Mrs. Damadian: "How did he get it?"

Mary: "Well, he said it was fine, but..."

Mrs. Damadian: "I don't care what it showed. I want to know how he got the report."

Mary: "What do you mean?"

Mrs. Damadian: "Did a courier bring it? Or was it faxed to him? Or mailed? Or e-mailed? Or did a radiologist call him? Or did he look it up online?"

Mary: "I believe he looks them up, but it depends on..."

Mrs. Damadian: "This is stupid. I can't believe you don't know. Why don't you find out, then you can call me back and we'll discuss me making an appointment."

(hangs up)

18 comments:

Heidi said...

Whaaa??????? She didn't care what it showed? Just how he got it?? Oh yeah, you'll be hearing back from us real soon...

Anonymous said...

Ummm. Because it doesn't matter how he gets it?

Loving the blog Doc. Especially like the random history items. They make a nice change of scenery from all the nutters.

Don.

awesomesauciness said...

Next time have Mary tell the patient that she has no idea how you get these reports, it's like there's a vast repository of information that magically appears on 'televisions' whenever the doctor touches the screen.

It's like magic. Evil magic.

Packer said...

Answer the question dammit, How did he get the report ?

There are those who just can't seem to answer a question. I ask a person filing for Bankruptcy, how much do you owe on your mortgage: Answer, I haven't paid in 24 months.

I ask my Doctor's office how they got my report...OK I guess you see where I am going with this.

Flame war in 3,2,1....

Anonymous said...

favorite line from Forrest Gump

...some days there are just not enough rocks....


and some days all the folks you encounter seem to have rocks in their heads.

bobbie said...

Turf to psych...

Chivas Owle said...

I can't believe you won't tell us how Dr. Grumpy got the report. I can't imagine a more important detail to know. Who cares what it shows, I just want to know how he got it. Curious minds want to know!

Anonymous said...

"And don't use this phone number again. If you want to set up a meeting, put a flowerpot in your window where it can be see from the outside, and I'll contact you. You never know who's listening."

Bobbi said...

I think Mrs. Damadian called me this morning!

Phone rings, woman asks if this is so-and-so's number. Sorry, no. A minute later the phone rings again. It's a different phone number, but the same voice. Sorry, this still isn't so-and-so's number. She asks what number she's getting. Ma'am, you've now called twice, from two different phones (therefore, you did not just press "redial"), so you have to know what number you're calling. When she starts to explain why she really DOESN'T know, I hang up.

sigh

Ivan Ilyich said...

MRIs are cool. Some people are down on them, because they're expensive and thus an example of how unnecessary tests drive up the cost of medical care. I don't agree. A negative result is not necessarily a useless result. I'm pleased that Dr. D. Made some money from it even though he didn't get the Nobel.

MDaisy said...

My mother always looked inside me ears as she often thought there was nothing between them except a tunnel. Perhaps Mom was right in this case too.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't Dr. Grumpy get all his data from the NSA???

RehabRN said...

Grumpy:

Don't you realize how important the transmission method is?

The NSA could have substituted her results!

Bring your tin foil hat along for that follow-up.

Good luck!

bluetoothbuddha said...

I had no idea what the "Damadian" reference was, so I asked Prof. Google.

One of the reasons I keep coming back here is the wonderful names of the "protagonists". It's fun to find out.

And Grumpy and Google, between them, might just be able to make me reasonably literate.

And BTW, Dr G, how DID you get the goddamned MRI?

Anonymous said...

As someone with zero medical training i MUST know...did you call her back and say "based upon your conversation with Mary you seem totally irrational, come in immediately"?

Arrg the question torments me!

Anonymous said...

I thought the owls brought them!

merinz said...

Mary has the patience of a saint!

minimedic said...

To anon on June 14th, 6:53 PM: I now have an image of Hedwig the owl carrying curled-up MRIs into Grumpy's office as Grumpy scratches her head and feeds her an owl treat...

 
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