And no, I have absolutely NFC what they meant to say.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
The joy of Dragon
And no, I have absolutely NFC what they meant to say.
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Seen in a hospital note while on-call this past weekend:
And no, I have absolutely NFC what they meant to say.
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
And no, I have absolutely NFC what they meant to say.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Blog Archive
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2013
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June
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- History reruns
- Dear Mrs. Soda,
- The guilt is strong with this one
- Lalataw
- No fireworks
- Don't ask
- We're gonna turn it on. We're gonna bring you the ...
- Hazards of "V" and "C" being next to each other on...
- "I'd like to buy a comma, Pat."
- Excuses
- Why I call him that
- Ooooh! Fireworks!
- The joy of Dragon
- Never a dull moment
- In days of yore...
- Sigh
- Mary's desk
- Once upon a time
- Moon river
- "Mavericks"? WTF?
- That's why they call it a "blood gas"
- June 8, 1971
- But is it artisanal?
- To err is human
- Doctors behaving badly
- Mary's desk, June 3, 2013
- Maaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
- Those were the days
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June
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14 comments:
Pyschiatry admission. D'oh
He has hallucinations about leprechauns, and also has lichen planus.
Duh.
THE NEW DRAGON IS REALLY GREAT, BUT OLD DRAGON... BAD HEARING?
Out, damn'd spot! out, I say!—One; two: why, then 'tis time to do't.—Hell is murky.—Fie, my lord, fie, a soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our pow'r to accompt?—Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?
- Lady Macbeth overheard sleepwalking by her Doctor
Macbeth Act 5, scene 1, 26–40
There's no mystery here. The patient was Yoda.
Officer is correct. It clearly means "I have spot and rare little friend."
I dunno what THAT means, either.
Clearly, Dragon overheard him talking to a small child who had asked him if he'd eaten raw steak for dinner (because he had a bit stuck in his teeth). Little friend, I have!! and [it had a] rare spot.
I see crazy things all the time in my current job of editing medical speech wreck. Despite the promises, there will be errors in medical reports unless someone with a trained eye and medical knowledge looks them over and fixes errors.
Things like allergies to penis, parents who are dead but still live wth the patient, etc., are common place.
Try dictating "Allergic to peanuts." tee-hee
Little friend = male genitalia
Rare spot = some type of skin lesion
My favorite Dragon oops was when Dragon turned a Peanut Butter recipe into P**** Butter Cookies. You can figure out what that meant. I was very embarrassed when friends wrote to tell me about my mistake.
I don't use Dragon, and I probably never will.
As to the rare spot: Perhaps the report was discussing the fontanel.
I'm a medical transcriptionist. I call that job security.
I tried this on Siri with the TV on full blast. (Yeah, I know, my social diary isn't exactly full.)
Anyway, here's what I got:
Lutheran, I have an umbrella spot.
Righto, then. That's settled.
Sounds like Engrish..
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