One night I saw a guy in SERIOUS pain.
He was at Local Grocery, buying a can of soup.
When the pretty teenage girl cashier asked "Anything else you need?" He said "How about this, sweetie?" whipped his winkie out, and laid it on the checkout counter.
The cashier grabbed the soup can and smashed him flat.
The urologist I paged was laughing so hard that he had to hang up and call me back when he'd stopped.