Thursday, September 29, 2011

Ask and ye shall receive

Around Jewish holidays Local Grocery always puts up a display which varies depending on the holiday, featuring Matzoh, or Hanukah candles, or Hamantashen, or whatever is appropriate. They always hang a banner over it that says "The Jewish Experience."

Earlier this week I joked with a friend that if they really wanted to give shoppers "The Jewish Experience" they'd have some old lady there, telling people to stand up straight and making them feel guilty about something.

It was a joke. That was all.

So last night, on the way home, I stopped at the store for apples and a round challah for Rosh Hashanah. I found the "Jewish Experience" display with a pile of challahs, grabbed one... And was blindsided. This ancient silver-haired grandmother pounced on me out of nowhere.

Grandma Crabgrass: "That one's not fresh."

Dr. Grumpy: "Excuse me?"

Grandma Crabgrass: "That challah. It isn't fresh."

Dr. Grumpy: "It feels fresh."

Grandma Crabgrass: "It's not."

Dr. Grumpy: "Fine" (puts down challah A, grabs challah B, starts to turn away)

Grandma Crabgrass: "That one's stale, too. They're all hard as rocks."

Dr. Grumpy: "They're fine. It's not like they're leftover from last year's Rosh Hashanah."

Grandma Crabgrass: "How do you know? Your mother wouldn't approve of that challah."

Dr. Grumpy: "Look. I'm taking this challah and leaving."

Grandma Crabgrass: "You'll need two."


She wasn't even one of my patients.

31 comments:

amy said...

sounds like something out of a Seinfeld episode. Oy Vey!

RehabRN said...

And you thought they didn't listen to customers!

How entertaining! Did Granny direct you to the full price artisanal challahs in the bakery or something?

Haven said...

Be careful what you wish for! Hahaha.

Rick said...

Challa back, yo.

Sarah Glenn said...

Ask and ye shall receive...

So, was she right about the challah?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

The bread was fine. The lady, however, seemed stale. I have a suspicion I'll be seeing her in my office soon.

Anonymous said...

Yet. She's not one of your patients yet.

As a random aside, how is Carson settling in?

Not House said...

Bwahahaha. Awesome.

Happy Holidays!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

We had to sell Carson on Amazon. 3 kids are enough.

Anonymous said...

I don't think I've laughed louder from one of your posts before. XD!

Anonymous said...

did she bother you only? or did she do the same thing to everyone there to pick up the bread?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

No idea. I got the hell out.

Anonymous said...

It's a good thing honey doesn't have a shelf life! You can use the one you bought in the early 70's and it will be just fine.

Happy New Year, Ibee!

Anonymous said...

"I think challahs can be very sensuous, don't you?"

Gloria P said...

You asked for it.

FlutePrayer said...

Shana tova!

Anonymous said...

bwahahaha @ RehabRN's response!!!

L' Shana Tova Dr!!!

~Francine

Anonymous said...

Awesome!!!!!

Mind of Me said...

L'Shanah Tovah, Dr. Grumpy!

a.generic doc said...

She should have said, "Take two challah and see me at temple in the morning."

unjew said...

I shoulda been born a Jew.

gena said...

L'chaim! And L'shana tova, Doc.

Wait till you see what she does for Yom Kippur!

Anonymous said...

So...you suspect the store has employed her to enhance the Jewish Experience?

VinceD said...

Saw a commercial for artisan pizza from Domino's today and thought of you.

Anonymous said...

perfect for those whose guilt has not already taken them home to momma's approved challa

cliffintokyo said...

Tough love is just so hard to take from strangers, especially silver haired grannies, Jewish or not.

Mike Looney said...

As a WASP from a state with a %0.1 Jewish population, I had to look up what a challah was. Looks quite tasty.

On the other hand I've seen old ladies being critical of the quality of ribs to be BBQed, so I suspect it's an old lady thing, not specific to any culture.

Ry said...

L'chaim to you, your family, and Craig's hair! I hope the challah was delicious.

Anonymous said...

As for Carson, did you list him on Ebay and Craig's List too? Come to think of it, you could try to sell Craig's hair too, did you keep it after the dreaded hair cut?

What is it with boys and their hair these days? I had more boys futzing with their hair in class, after PE, recess and during the lunch hour than my girls did. At the end of the school year I had more combs in my desk (they had to be dropped and sealed in a Ziplock bag) than Sally's Beauty Supply has at their warehouse, and not a one belonged to my girls (these were 4th and 5th graders).

Oy!

Anonymous said...

So if it's stale, and your mother wouldn't approve, why does she want you to buy two?

Anonymous said...

L'chaim to the Grumpy clan! and for those of you who think challah is only consumed by the Chosen People, this goy's family waits for the Jewish holidays to get their treat.

 
Locations of visitors to this page