Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Mary, order another case of Rogaine for me

Dr. Grumpy: "Anything that triggers these spells?"

Mr. Dieffenbachia: "Yes. A plant."

Dr. Grumpy: "Do you know which plant?"

Mr. Dieffenbachia: "That one that grows outside."

14 comments:

KimTheNole said...

Not related at all, but saw this article and immediately thought of you and your "fake doctor" stories.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/11/18/us-idaho-breastexams-odd-idUSTRE6AH4S120101118

A breast exam in a bar... at first I thought it was just a bad pick up line.

Cthulhu Sashimi said...

"But the ones I grow in my closet make me feel a lot better."

Anonymous said...

Not helpful in June. If he'd said that in January, you might have been able to narrow the list down to evergreens. Which is still a huge list.

Moose said...

Mr Dieffenbachia, eh? I'm numb to this.

a.generic doc said...

Plants that bring on spells? Is this a case of a neurological problem or witchcraft?

Anonymous said...

"Which is why my wife never lets me leave our underground shelter. She's looking out for me."

Anonymous said...

You mean the green ones?

kate said...

Oh, okay...that one outside? With the green stuff on it? Perhaps with flowers? Thank you for clarifying.

Packer said...

Wife: I don't think it is poison ivy. I am going to pull it.
Me: I know it is poison ivy . (I hike hundreds of miles per year)
Wife: No, you are wrong.
Me: Ok
Wife week later: Can you pick up some cream from pharmacy.
Me: For what
Wife: I have this strange rash on my arms.

Outdoor plants are no hobby, leave the job to the professionals.

Mockingbird said...

That would be jimson weed, Mr. Dieff.

Anonymous said...

Could be Cannabis sativa. Grows wild in Kansas...but you're in Ohio, aren't you, Dr Grumpy? In that case, it may be poison hemlock. I never saw >15 foot tall poison hemlock until I lived in Ohio.

Eileen said...

Um - isn't diffenbachia also known as Mother-in-law's tongue???

Eileen

Anonymous said...

i think one alternate name for diffenbachia is 'dumb cane' cuz it causes numbness, tingling of lips and drooling when nibbled.....at least, it makes the cat drool when she gets at it! don't know for sure about humans.

Anonymous said...

Dieffenbachia contains calcium oxalate crystals which cause irritation of the oral mucosa when it is chewed. Poisoning is usually minor but there are rare cases of people getting pharyngeal swelling severe enough to impair breathing.

 
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