Wednesday, June 29, 2011

EEEEEYYYAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sir, I think the test you're referring to is the PSA for prostate cancer.

While it is, like a mammogram, part of preventative health care, the two tests are not at all similar.

It is NOT called a "penogram", and doesn't involve having your winkie squashed between metal plates.

Thank you. Now go get your blood drawn.

28 comments:

Nite Nurse said...

If it was just the same, men would NEVER have it done.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

You'll get no argument from me.

Cheryl said...

This is a classic.

SuFu PhD said...

after having to have a mammogram i think would rather die of penile cancer than have a penogram.... or a penectomy

Teri said...

Preventative? ;-)

Anonymous said...

Where did your patient get this ridiculous idea?

kate said...

Well, I mean, come on...fair is fair, right? ;)

Grumpy, M.D. said...

I don't ask. It's better that way.

Shanniel Shakespeare said...

What's next referring to a Pap smear as a vaginogram? lol...these patients sure are creative!!

Officer Cynical said...

Did you tell him where they do the blood draw from for PSA, though???

PA Honeybee said...

Now that I have experienced a mammo, I can certainly agree with Kate! What's fair is fair-and painful.

Laura said...

uh, shouldn't that be 'preventive' (JAMA. 1964; 189(9): 700)

SK said...

Well, Dr. Grumps, FYI, there is an exam where you put and compress your wiener between hard plats, incredibly using the same mammogram machine. It´s the penis radiography, used to detect calcified plaques of Peyronie´s disease. Not kidding.

gena said...

Good grief! How do you not start snickering when your patients come up with this stuff?

Supertammy said...

On the upside, compared to what he was imagining the test should be no problem.

Frantic Pharmacist said...

Owww. Although I have had a few customers who I'd like to see get the winkie press. Big time.

Anonymous said...

"But first, I need to finish your neurological exam. Stick your head between the metal plates, please."

Mockingbird said...

Well, I would like to know what treatment that is where your oppenus is pressed between plates-because I had it done to me. Doc said it was proof I had the Commie ghonnarear when all that red gooo shot out the end.
It cost $360, too.

Anonymous said...

penography is done in the tattoo parlor

Moose said...

It's just amazing what people want to stick in the waffle iron.

Just. ya know. Saying.

Anonymous said...

Could be worse. Imagine if there was screening for testicular cancer than involved squishing the testes between metal plates?

Polly said...

Maybe he'd heard about the manogram? http://www.1funny.com/manogram.shtml

Dalai said...

Don't laugh. There is a delightful test called a corpora cavernosogram, wherein dye is injected directly into the member in question...

http://www.springerimages.com/Images/MedicineAndPublicHealth/1-10.1007_s00261-008-9463-x-13

Ouchy wa waaaaHHH!!!!

bogart said...

Yikes.

Though if I may grumble, neither the mammogram nor the PSA is either preventive or preventative ... each (may) allow for early treatment; neither prevents anything. As there's some question about the circumstances under which each is useful, I'm prepared to claim my quibble is more than semantics.

Though, in fairness, I realize as a neurologist you may not need to focus to closely on either debate (who can benefit from PSA or mammogram).

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous 17:44

Ouch! Just thinking about that brings tears to my eyes.

Andy

arzt4empfaenger said...

Mwahaha! No, I don't think this would be comfortable...

cliffintokyo said...

You missed a real opportunity to really shrivel his winkie by just leading him on a little with his bizarre notions!
(I suspect that most cruel dudes probably have a wicked sense of humor too)

Christie said...

My new favorite word is penogram.

 
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