Thursday, June 3, 2010

Wednesday afternoon front desk insanity

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mrs. Nutz: 'Yes, I need to make a new-patient appointment."

Mary: "Okay, we can see you tomorrow morning, at 11:00."

Mrs. Nutz: "I'm having a lot of leg pain. Can your doctor find out what's wrong, and fix it?"

Mary: "Well, he'll do his best, I mean, he'll need to evaluate you and..."

Mrs. Nutz: 'I'm leaving on a vacation this Sunday, and I need this problem fixed by then. Otherwise it will ruin my trip. Is he going to be able to do that?"

Mary: "Well, like I said, he hasn't even seen you yet, so it's hard to..."

Mrs. Nutz: "Well I need it fixed. This is ridiculous."

Mary: "Okay, how about I get you scheduled? What's your insurance?"

Mrs. Nutz: "I have a very high deductible, so I'll be paying all of this out of pocket. How much is it?"

Mary: "Well the appointment is $300, but if you need tests done it..."

Mrs Nutz: "$300!!! That's insane! Okay, I'll bite. But I will only pay it if your doctor can guarantee, in writing, that I will be figured out and completely fixed before I leave on my trip. Otherwise I want my money back."

Mary: "We can't do that. I won't schedule you under such a condition. I don't know any doctor who will see you like that."

Mrs. Nutz: "Doesn't anyone want to help patients anymore? Whatever happened to that damn oath they take?" (Hangs up).

22 comments:

The Good Cook said...

Yeah.. what about that dam oath? My car mechanic gives me a guarantee why won't the doctor? Oh, you know what? I'm just going to go to my mechanic and get this fixed.

Amanda said...

Good luck to her. I would love to have listened to the phone calls she made next!

singedwingangel said...

Good grief I would have had to reach through a phone and slap a woman. Seriously?!

The Mother said...

Having just spent the week researching Mesmer, I have to admit, we in the medical profession have definitely lost touch, in our race for scientific accuracy, with our mumbo-jumbo, placebo-effect inducing side.

Mesmer would have fixed that lady. In time for her vacation. Or, at least, he would have been convinced that he had fixed her.

thegooddrlaura said...

Yup. These stories are true.

MM9U said...

My veterinarian could fix her for less than $300. She sounds like she needs to be fixed.

Julie said...

Mom! What are you doing trying to see Dr. Grumpy! You've got a vacation to go on!

kcanuck said...

BEEP BEEP BEEP *WARNING* *WARNING* CRAZY LADY!!

Mary handled that awesome. Can I hire her for my vet practice???

IVF-MD said...

I'm sure you're counting your blessings that particular patient did NOT schedule with you. Catering to unreasonable patients creates an incentive for more and more unreasonable patients to flock to you. Life's too short for that type of practice. :)

Miss Kismet said...

Hmmm....maybe I'm getting jaded, but as soon as I read "leg pain" and "pay myself" I thought "seeker." Combined with the demand that her problem be fixed before she leaves on vacation, I predict she would have called at some point and demanded a replacement for her medication that she convenient "lost."

Where is Nurse K when you need her? :)

(ha! WV is "rante"...what she will do in Paris about American doctors LOL)

Anonymous said...

Certifiably fucking nuts! But what an entertaining conversation!

Anonymous said...

dude, you dodged a bullet. keep that mary another day.

Anonymous said...

We all know how bad smoking is for you - but I can see why she needs a nicotine hit after dealing with THAT.

terri c said...

Holy cow, that lady is nuts, but making that call while Mary is quitting smoking should be considered a SERIOUS suicidal gesture!

Toni said...

This is going to be the problem when nationalized medicine takes effect. People have no idea how much things really cost--an appointment with a specialist costs $300, you just aren't the one PAYING for it!!!!!! If she had had insurance, she would probably not have cared how many visits she made or how many tests she needed....just consume and consume!

ERP said...

You should assume the role of a 18th level Cleric and heal her with your "cure serious wounds" spell.

Sandy in Pa said...

Mary needs a raise!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a good friend of mine...She has severe back pain but wont see a doctor cause they cant fix it right away, so she just suffers, makes no sense to me...she gets mad cause the doctor will offer something for the pain til they figure out the problem and she flats out tells them no, she doesnt want the pain masked, she wants it gone....3 years later and she's still suffering

Val said...

I'm afraid that from a non-medical person's point of view, this seems... kinda... reasonable...

(Don't chuck that came-from-a-drugs-company-but-otherwise-free advertising paperweight at me!! *ducks*)

HugeMD said...

I've realized I went to the wrong school--should've gone to the Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

I frequently cannot fix X years of Y pain in one urgent care visit. Not uncommonly, though, I think I can--often things like physical therapy. People often don't like the idea that they have to put in some work to get themselves better. Sign.

Dreaming again said...

this apparently isn't an uncommon occurance. Seeing my neuro the other day, a woman was refusing to prepay for her appt (cash only patient) until they promised her the problem would be fixed completely.

She then got furious that they took me back first (even though my appt was before hers, she signed in before me)


People are very strange!

Anonymous said...

Doesn't anyone help patients anymore? Back in my day, they had this stuff called snake oil that could fix ANYTHING and it was only $6 a bottle!

 
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