Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sunday morning, 5:05 a.m.
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"Hi, I see Dr. Grumpy for my MS, and am scheduled for my shot tomorrow. I got hit over the head with a small poodle yesterday, and was wondering if I should hold off on the injection for now?"
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Blog Archive
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2010
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June
(53)
- Mary's Desk, June 30, 2010
- June 30, 1908
- Afternoon patient neologism
- Marital Counseling
- Patient quote of the day
- Dear Mrs. Crest,
- Just Shoot Me
- News that leaves me speechless
- Grumpus Interruptus
- "You're all grounded! No, not you kids."
- Got Cheese?
- Better living through chemistry
- 1/4 cup milk, 1/4 cup butter, cheese sauce mix, Ku...
- Heard in the elevator
- Survey fun
- Tuesday night patient devotion phone message
- I'm an awesome doc!
- MEOW!!!
- Bad drug rep mornings
- Shoes for, um, swimming?
- Saturday night, 10:45 p.m.
- ER Stories
- Sorry, dude, you're not that good
- "Check this out" indeed
- Reptile WIN!
- How to drive an ER doc nuts
- Mary's desk, June 16, 2010
- Addictions
- More time issues
- Logic
- What?
- Take me out to the ball game
- Sunday morning, 5:05 a.m.
- I'll miss you, Lady
- Attention patients!
- Minor difference.
- I think they ablated your cortex
- Attention crooks!
- "Hey! Why doesn't this floor have call lights?"
- Your researchers at work: hockey surprise
- Dear Mrs. Frosting,
- Monday afternoon goes to hell
- Jobs
- Sunday morning, 6:47 a.m.
- Memories...
- Sitcom in my office
- Things that make me grumpy
- Attention patients, drug reps, and planet Earth!
- Wednesday afternoon front desk insanity
- Not helpful
- You can't afford to be sick!
- So you are
- Monday night, 9:27 p.m.
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June
(53)
27 comments:
Maybe he/she meant paddle and the blow was harder than he/she thought...
I called her back. It was a poodle. She wouldn't give me the details, either. I suspect alcohol was involved.
Poor poodle....hope it had no injuries! Am glad she was specific enough to let you know it was a SMALL one that hit her.
Count yourself lucky you don't have to deal with the poodle and the person attached to it.
small poodle- no problem. large poodle- er and a lawyer
lol, this is why the good Doc G. is bookmarked between The Onion and Fail Blog.
she called you at 5am for this??? you probably were too pissed off to sleep after calling her back (remind me fizzy's cartoon that's dedicated to you) :p
She probably read somewhere on WebMD or an iPhone App about a contra-indication between her medication and Poodle trauma! Good think you were there for her Dr. G!
at what size does a poodle become a felonious dangerous weapon?
But How's The Poodle???
Ok...WHAT?????
Well, it's raining cats and dogs here, but I haven't seen any poodles small or otherwise. Maybe I ought to be more careful.
And I thought I had heard everything!!!
so many thoughts come to mind on this one. and so I ask, the Great Dr. Grumpy, did this surprise you from this patient?
professor plum in the conservatory with a poodle
Well, I've been seeing commercials on TLC for this new Extreme Poodles show that supposed to be starting soon. Perhaps....
do you ever wonder that one of your patients might find your blog just through random internet chance? coz your weirdness is pretty specific. if that girl reads that post, its not like she'll go, 'oh, that must be some other different person who got hit over the head by a small poodle, what a strange person.'
You're sure she wasn't slurring "pool cue"? Yikes.
I think your weekend call stories are my favorite...
-nurse8
Oh, NO! Not the fluffy poodle!
I just want to know what kind of person calls ANY doctor at 5am for a poodle assault?? Is there some class in being medically incompetent that all these people took in college that I missed? Oh, excuse me, I meant elementary school - maybe even preschool. I'm pretty sure even my 10 yo would not think this was sufficient reason to call a doctor. Poor Grumpy :(
There is a show on tonight on The Learning Channel called Extreme Poodles. Maybe she is on there tonight with her Poodle. It's on @ 8-9 CST. I was just flipping through the channels and this are some pretty BIG ASS Poodles. Just Maybe??????
Just what part of the poodle came into contact? Animal Welfare League call? Or, a loaded stuffed one?
Doc:
I hope you don't have to report this patient to Animal Control for poodle abuse.
Besides, is there a little frontal lobe lesion thing going on there? Doesn't sound exactly appropriate, unless of course, Ms. X. is part of a Monty Python skit. "The poodle's not dead, it's only sleeping."
@AlexDreamz: Maybe she was AMS due to poodle-induced blunt trauma.
Hopalong Ginsberg
We had a guy come in once who'd sustained pretty impressive facial trauma after a vulture collided with his windshield. The trouble wasn't the glass; it was the now-dying vulture (big claws!) that came through the broken windshield and hit him in the head.
Thankfully it was not with a standard Poodle.
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