Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Corporate Downsizing WTF?


Left to right: 7.5 oz, 8 oz, 12 oz


Dear Diet Coke,

Okay, I like the 12 ounce size. It lasts me at least 10-60 minutes (depending on how thirsty/ caffeine-deprived I am). It fits nicely in my hand and (when first opened) has a decent heft to it. Makes a good, "click-hiss" when you open up.

For years you've also offered the 8 ounce size, which several local hospitals stock. Not as tall, or as much, but same diameter so still fits nicely in my hand and has a nice "click-hiss"when you pop it. 3 of these equals 2 big ones.

BUT NOW YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR. The new pissy little "tall and thin" 7.5 ounce (how much money does that 0.5 ounce difference really save, for cryin' out loud?) is a disgrace. Look at it! It looks like a little silver can of fucking V8 juice!

This is SO not acceptable. It makes this high pitched "click" when you open. The can is so small and dainty I feel like I should drink it in little sips, pinched delicately between my thumb and index finger, with the pinkie sticking out, like I'm at one of my daughter's freakin' doll tea parties.

In short, THIS IS NOT A MANLY WAY TO DRINK DIET COKE!

Yours truly

Ibee Grumpy, M.D.

42 comments:

MistressMorgan said...

Is Diet Coke manly?

terri c said...

You're right Dr. Grumpy, you tell 'em.

I think the sixteen-ounce or twenty-ounce bottles are good. Nice weight and shape. Heaven only knows what marketing will do to THOSE.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on this one. I picked up several packs of them the other day without paying attention to the difference in size and didn't notice it until I got home. Not cool, dude.

Mommy, I'm Home said...

Hmmmm... wonder if Coke is trying to tell the Grumpy Doctor that he shouldn't be drinking soda AT ALL because, you know, it's bad for you and all that???? (Of course, I write this as I chow down on sugar-laden chocolates, so feel free to ignore my comment.)

Matt McCarley said...

Is there a manly way to drink diet coke to begin with?

erichollins said...

You have tea parties with your daughter?

Brandy said...

Diet Coke isn't manly in the first place.. be happy it isn't pink.

Helen said...

I think it's cute (but that probably just reinforces your point).

I don't think we have these fancy "tall and thin" cans in Canada.

Anonymous said...

I too, just saw the 7.5 oz size at the store. Not sure why they need to do this-- other than-- now the can is under 100 calories for the regular Coke. I am a big fan of the 12 oz plastic bottles since I can't be trusted with an open can around medical records. Also a big fan of the fully leaded Coke (Sugar or HFCS and Caffeine). Don't worry, I never even thought of you when I saw the smaller can size.

The Haikies Man said...

That's the first time in my life I've ever seen the words "manly" and "Diet Coke" in the same sentence. (The previous sentence is the second and, probably, last.) If you're so concerned about your macho image, I recommend the following:

1 x empty 1.5 liter Jack Daniel's bottle
7 x 7.5 ounce cans of Diet Coke.

Empty the latter into the former. Enjoy in full view of everyone. Make sure there's a mirror handy.

There will be a couple of ounces of overflow, but you can easily deal with that. Sharp-eyed viewers might see that the color doesn't quite match, but, if anyone points this out, just ask them sarcastically when THEY became such an expert in Jack Daniel's(*) and offer to kick their ass.

(*) Unless of course you happen to practice in Lynchburg, TN, in which case use a Jim Beam bottle instead. Or, better yet, George Dickel.

The Phorid Man said...

Or just stick the whole can into your mouth and eat it.

sandy shoes said...

Dude. It's diet Coke. Your pinky should already be up.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but does the 7.5 spew all over yer desk when you add extra non-sugar sweetener?

Miss Kismet said...

I've never understood the "smaller can" marketing ploy. Is this so we can introduce our kids to soft drinks? Because I can drink one of those little 8 oz. cans in two swallows (watch it, peanut gallery). Besides, they are more expensive!

Maha said...

Sacrilege! How dare they?!

Shoebee said...

Not only are they downsizing the can size, but also case size. Recently (last week) the 24 case has been replaced with the 20 case. Granted, it is less money than the 24, but common

evitafjord said...

Mmmm, diet Coke.

Anonymous said...

Haha, I think you've been told:)

Kim Kasch said...

Oh but I will feel like such a delicate fine lady drinking from that slender tin can - which I will hold with my chubby Ballpark Frank fingers.

Francine said...

Aw, come on. It's KINDA cute, no? lol

...on second thought...it is a little lame...

Diet Coke FAIL! ^.^

student dr. blaze said...

when did they pull this stunt?! that thing looks horrible! UGH! does this mean i have to watch for special boxes? or are they D/C'ing the 8 oz altogether?

i say bring back the old glass bottles. those were cool. (& they didn't leech aluminum or PVC into the soda.)

Gen said...

My local grocery sells these 50 oz bottles of diet coke. Slip one of those in a small paper bag and it'll look like Dr. Grumpy is drinking a 'forty'! Now that's the manly way to drink diet coke.

CrownedwithVictory said...

I disagree. I think a man with a diet soda in his hand is much more macho than a man with a beer. What are the requirements of a manly drink, anyways?

donna said...

Diet Coke....The Rehab Story!

The Good Cook said...

In today's corporate speak it is called "Right Sizing" not downsizing. This is so everyone will feel GOOD about being cheated, fired, laid off, canned, etc... Got that?

Right Sizing.

Don said...

I suspect that the reasoning is that few people will notice the change. Rather than increase the price of the can directly, by reducing the volume of soda and the weight of the can the Coke company maintains a roughly equivalent cost. Given the increasing cost of aluminum in the last few years, along with the energy required to process it(which is substantial), this may be the optimum solution as far as Coke is concerned. A better solution is to lower the cost of energy, but that is a can of worms.

Kat's Kats said...

As my husband said to me:

A two-liter, a sigg-bottle, and thou
And I've solved the problem 'ere now.

The Mother said...

I once took a math course where the instructor was attempting to show how math can be used to make products more economical. He went through a few minutes of derivation to produce a coke can eerily close to the little squat guy.

Then he went on to explain that other considerations often win out. Like, aesthetics.

Bulrush said...

Dear Dr. Grumpy,
The smaller can will allow the top Coke executives to fill their pockets with more cash. That's the American way. How DARE you be un-American.

Sincerely (or not),
The Coca Cola Company

Sandra said...

Both Coke and Pepsi have recently downsized their soda cans and bottles but the price either stayed the same or went up. My husband's favorite 20oz bottles went down to 16.5 oz but the price is still the same.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Grumpy, when Coca-cola was introduced, it only came in 6.5 oz bottles. As for the sizes of sodas in general, may i suggest http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM that video? Not the whole thing, but about 15, 20 minute in, he addresses the sizes on sodas.

Texas Pharmacy Chica said...

Marketing must be worried about downsizing and had to justify their existence. Sounds like a Dilbert Strip waiting to happen.

This being Texas, you can usually troll Mexican restaurants, flea markets, Farmer's Markets ans occasionally Sam's for regular Coke (in glass bottles) made with sugar instead of corn syrup. It has a slightly different taste.

Anonymous said...

"How much will the 0.5 ounce save?" you ask? For the price of making 120 ounces of diet coke, they can fill 16 instead of 15 cans. Given the large number of cans they make, that soon adds up. I don't have time at the moment to crunch the numbers for a dollar value though.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Yeah, and I'm a captive market.

"Better dead than a Pepsi-Head!"

Jacqueline said...

I saw these the other day and thought to myself "What the hell? They aren't frickin red bulls." It's just so...wrong. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG.

And, I'm with the person above who wants the glass bottles brought back...I just like them better.

Also, Mexican Coke is awesome...as is Dublin Dr Pepper.

word verification is "coporks"...I could go on and on...

kat79 said...

I had to buy my husband cases that had 20 instead of 24. Our grocery store only had the 20 packs of Coke no 24 packs. They were cheaper at first glance but when you balance out the per can price they are probably more expensive. (I dont do math)

Marco said...

Consumers perceive products labelled 'diet' as being for women, so Coca Cola created Coke Zero (in a slick black can) for men to look cool drinking. It is the same as Diet Coke. So, look for that in the store if it's on sale.

As for the sucrose (table sugar) containing real Coke, yes, you can get it in places closer to Mexico, e.g. we have it at Costco here in San Diego. It does taste different, as sucrose = 50/50 glucose/fructose, whereas HFCS = High Fructose Corn Syrup is 45/55 glucose/fructose.

Too lazy to remember password said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's all this talk of Diet Coke being a non-masculine beverage? Is that a regional concept? I live in northern NY (capital region) and I've never been called non-manly for drinking a DC. I am as much of a "man's man" as there is; sports-watching-constantly-cursing-heavy-metal-listening-fraternity-boy... and, to me, NOTHING tastes better than a wicked cold Diet Coke in a can. Well, except for a Canadian beer, but I'm not allowed to have those in the pharmacy.

~Mike, RPh

ERP said...

Instead of speaking for drug companies, you should be getting paid to promote Diet Coke.

Anonymous said...

yours, not your's ;)

also, I love when Coke (be it diet, regular, or Fanta) is bottled in re-used glass bottles, like they do it in Africa.

less hi-tech society in this case = less waste.

Jen said...

I think it's being done because of fat Americans. The REGULAR coke in this new size is under 90 calories. As DC has no calories, why would they F with it?? I wish they came in a 20 ounce CAN. Doesn't taste the same out of a bottle! I have even looked online to see how much it would cost to install a fountain at home!

dustind said...

The top of the can is the most expensive part, so skinny cans cost less than fat ones.

 
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