Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Tuesday Morning Patient Quote
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"Sometimes, when I really hurt, I stop breathing. I mean, like, for hours, literally. It hurts so bad I just stop breathing. After my car accident I went 2 weeks without breathing."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Blog Archive
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2009
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December
(83)
- Answering service fun
- More things that make me grumpy
- Stupid questions
- You VILL do ze physical therapy!!!
- Is she a cephalopod?
- Mary's Desk, December 29, 2009
- Somebody put something in my drink
- More things that make my grumpy
- Job Counseling
- Memo to Patients
- Dear Mrs. Thoughtthatcounts,
- My readers write
- Loose playlists sink ships... or something like that
- December 26, 2009
- Traditions of Christmas
- More Dragonisms
- Holiday Reruns
- December 24, 2009. Tis the season
- Healthy Living
- More Gift Ideas
- Augh!!!!!!!!
- Dear Dr. Dumpster,
- Hey! This sausage tastes like... uh, chicken?
- More Gift Ideas
- Whatever
- Tuesday Morning, 1:47 a.m.
- This is a yes or no question
- Thank you for sharing
- Hey! This is like a ride!
- Things that make me grumpy
- More Gift Ideas
- Winter Vacation, Day 1, 7:09 a.m.
- December, 1974
- Skool Nerse Time
- The Return of Wrong Way Wooten
- Next year, put it in an envelope
- More Gift Ideas
- Say that again?
- Chocolates from hell update
- Okay, this is just WRONG!
- Alzheimer's Disease and the Holidays
- Smooth Move, Dr. G.
- Better late then never
- Mrs. Grumpy is going to kill me
- More Gift Ideas
- Christmas is coming, the staff are getting fat
- Tearing My Hair Out
- Why use your brain when you can buy an EMR and loo...
- Early Monday at Grumpy's House-of-Brains
- Dear Mrs. Nosybich,
- Christmakuh
- More Gift Ideas
- Suzy Frazzled, M.S.W.
- Spelling Errrorz
- The First Night
- Okay, You Can
- Attention Junkies!
- Dear CVS Caremark,
- I Bet He Ain't As Comfortable
- Dear Mr. I.M.A. "Rich" Azzholl, III
- More Gift Ideas
- Blood Pressure is Overrated, Anyway
- You Saw It Here First!
- Skool Nerse Time
- Whatever
- I Bet the Cops Love You
- More Fun Junkie Quotes
- Lifestyle Changes
- Tis The Catalog Season
- Public Service Announcement
- Live! From ER! It's Dr. Grumpy!
- Starting and Ending With a Survey
- You Must Live REALLY Far Away
- Okay, Let Me Get A Blindfold
- Homecoming
- Just Say No
- Now THAT'S Exciting!!!
- Edgar Allan Poe
- How Hard Is This To Understand?
- Memories...
- How To Irritate Your Neurologist
- Tuesday Morning Patient Quote
- This is the Dawning of the Age of Extavia
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December
(83)
25 comments:
OK, my brain hurts now.
Oh NO she di'int! LOL
I didn't realize you treated zombies!
riiiight. like that can realistically happen
How about thinking? Like my guess is you quit thinking years ago....
What was your response? I'm always wondering...
Perhaps, like with some turtles, they can breathe through their ass.
Verificiation word: potti
He should be referred to the US govt secret training services. Imagine how useful a spy who could hold his breath for 2 weeks could be! He could be sent into underwater locations, or into toxic gas clouds! Perfect.
That's amazing! Is she a whale?
People like that SHOULD stop breathing for a couple weeks.
Why in heaven's name is this person seeing a neurologist since obviously, he/she doesn't have a working brain cell.
I think that sounds incredibly sad
I get patients in the hospital all the time that claim that their allergy to various drugs is death.
I kid you not, one patient actually came in claiming to be allergic to metal, and said that the reaction was death. My first thought was "How many times did this patient died before they learned that they were allergic to all metals." The second thought was "How the hell is someone going to start an IV line... considering that the needles are all metal....
Looks like somebody's getting a dictionary in their Christmas stocking this year.
jesus
I just got done reading today's entries in Google Reader from notalwaysright.com, and then came to this one.
You should submit that, because it fits in perfectly.
Hey, so she can stop breathing for two weeks? Big deal. Did you know I can stop my heart from beating? Yeah, that's right. I went three weeks, uh huh. Three. And this tin-foil on my head keeps out the alien death rays.
And I'm a fanpire - but really - come on. . .
wow! u've an amazing time out there... envy u!
i hope my patients will entertain me like that. :))
Hmmmm....time for a pulmonary consult....
You know it is the full moon...
It's very apparent that his lack of breathing has resulted in an anoxic brain injury.
I'm with GB, RN.... can you say frontal lobe disconnection!!!!
I once had a patient tell me her kids were allergic to WATER, because when she left them in the tub too long their skin would wrinkle!!! Try not to laugh at that one!!!
Great post!
KK, PA in OK
A&P: TURF to pathology, stat!
I have heard of a child with an allergy to water - but the child got a bad rash/blisters, not just wrinkles.
There was also a child with no tolerance for sunlight - even small amounts of the sun's rays made her skin blister. So she went out to play only at night, when the sun was down.
Can't . . . write . . . comment . . . not . . . enough . . . air . . .
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