Thursday, October 15, 2009

From Hawaii, With Love

When the kids were younger, we had a part-time nanny named Syndee. I was anything but fond of her. I don't remember how Mrs. Grumpy found her.

Syndee did a good job with the kids, so I turned a blind eye to her many shortcomings (which could be several posts alone). Her main issue was a remarkable lack of IQ and common sense. It was not uncommon to realize she'd been outsmarted by Snowball (and he's slow). She occasionally still calls to see if we need a babysitter. Rarely she'll call me for medical questions, as she does not grasp the concept of what being a specialist means. She's also learned (since she knows our home number) that it's easier to reach me then her own doctor.

Last week Syndee got married, and went off to Hawaii for her honeymoon.

This morning, at 12:05 a.m., I was woken by our home phone ringing.

Dr. Grumpy: "Mmmph, hello?"

Syndee: "Hi! Dr. Grumpy! It's me, Syndee!"

Dr. Grumpy: "What the hell?... Syndee do you know what time it is?"

Syndee: "Sure! It's just after dinner! Why, is your clock broken?"

Dr. Grumpy: "No, it's after midnight here."

Syndee: "It is not! I wouldn't call that late!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Syndee, you're in another time zone."

Syndee: "What's a time zone?"

Dr. Grumpy (sigh): "Why did you call Syndee?"

Syndee: "Well, um, In the last few days I've developed a bladder infection and..."

Dr. Grumpy (seeing an opportunity to get even): "What the HELL have you been doing on your honeymoon to get a bladder infection?"

Syndee: "Well, um, my husband and me, um we, um... Can you just call in some antibiotics for me?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Why didn't you call your regular doctor for this?"

Syndee: "Her office was closed, and I didn't want to bother her."

Dr. Grumpy: "Good night, Syndee." (hangs up)

36 comments:

f8hasit said...

That's hysterical.
I want a doctors home number. Not that I need medications in the middle of the night, I want it just to have it.
:-)

Great post!
I can't wait to dig into the past ones!

moppie said...

Are you gonna FedEx the Rx to her Hawaii hotel?

ERP said...

I guess that guy is either the dumbest man alive or is just performing a monumental act of charity.

Anonymous said...

You know, it sounds a lot like the babysitter from "The Incredibles".

disgruntled RPh said...

As a pharmacist, we too get inappropriate questions/requests for things we cannot do! You keep me laughing, Dr. Grumpy! Thanks for saying what the rest of us want to!!!

CK Lunchbox said...

Stop me if you heard this one. A blonde goes on her honeymoon in Hawaii and gets a bladder infection...

Candice said...

I'm sort of shocked that she knows what a bladder is.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Me too.

Fiz said...

I am pracically weeing with laughing so much, and no, I don't have honeymoon cystitis! (I did at the time though!)

Barb said...

Dr. Grumpy, could you please send me your home phone number? There's an ER doc across the street and a pediatrician 3 doors down. My OB-GYN lives about 6 houses down in the other direction. All of their phone numbers are in the neighborhood directory. But I wouldn't want to call them at home and bother them.

Flavius said...

Honeymooon, eh? She must be really hot, or have some 'other skills' related to getting a bladder infection perhaps?

...

-Flavius

thinkinfyou said...

Makes me wonder what she taught your children.

Me-Me King said...

LOL @ CK Lunchbox...

C'mon, what else would you expect from someone that spells her own name incorrectly?

Ware are we?? said...

I can't believe she doesn't know what a time zone is. Must have slept thru class that day.

Gert said...

Makes me wonder who was watching who when she was supposed to be the nanny. Maybe you should get a refund from Syndee.

Katy said...

I am not a medical professional, but your posts are awesome! And by the way, thank god you hung up on her and did not reinforce her idiotic behavior by giving her the prescription!

Celeste said...

Show me the Syndee Chronicles!

Lisa said...

Dr. Grumpy-stumbled on your blog and have to say I have a feeling the entire day will be wasted reading thru your entries.

Now, one question comes to mind- you seriously did not trust your children with this woman did you?

TranscriptionistTia said...

Front to back Syndee, front to back.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

To all who asked: yes, we did trust our children with her. I didn't have a lot of say in the matter. Mrs. Grumpy informed me she was the nanny, and there would be no further debate.

This continued, in spite of all kinds of insanity. Like $500 in damage to our minivan. Or coming home early from a night out to find she'd left her boyfriend with the kids. Or Frank shaving his head on her watch (he was 5 at the time).

Mrs. Grumpy was quite adamant that I wasn't allowed to can her, through all this.

Fortunately she hasn't worked for us since 2006.

Dani said...

Oh my. How old is she?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Dani- about 30 I believe.

Morris said...

30. Sounds like her IQ is about that level too.. LOL

Chrysalis Angel said...

Dr. Grumpy (seeing an opportunity to get even): "What the HELL have you been doing on your honeymoon to get a bladder infection?"

You little devil, you! I had to snicker though.

rxgirl said...

I think Mrs Grumpy kept on her cuz she knew you wouldn't run off with someone so idiotic.

Jeanne said...

Thanks for dropping by the Raisin Chronicles. If I were to want to know your thoughts on health care reform, would I find them somewhere on this blog? If so, where?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Jeanne- try this.

http://drgrumpyinthehouse.blogspot.com/2009/09/annies-song_22.html

DSC said...

Please, please don't let her come home knocked up...

How come it's the dumb ones who seem to do most of the breeding these days?

River said...

There is a way to prevent the honeymoon cystitis. You just need to wee within half an hour of having sex. This flushes out any bacteria that may have made their way into the urethra during the hot and sweaty fun time so they don't make it all the way to the bladder and set up house in there. This is something that should be taught to everyone, not only those contemplating wedding/honeymoon.

student dr. blaze said...

River, I think her answer to that would be "what's sex?!" ;-)

Anonymous said...

I would think she'd be in excellent hands with the Hawaiian docs..they're all urinary specialists down there, everything is r/o cystitis. Though I'd hate to have a heart attack down there.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Anon 11:43: "they're all urinary specialists down there"

good play on words. ROLF!

Frantic Pharmacist said...

Not to sound patronizing, but there's just something about women whose names end in "-ee". This supports my theory.

Stitch said...

Dr. G, it's totally clear why Mrs. Grumpy kept her as the nanny... You'd never date her!

erichollins said...

Here is how I would've handled it:

Dr: Grumpy calls Syndee: "Hey, since it is 8am here and the pharmacies are now open, which pharmacy do you want me to send your prescription do?"
Syndee: "What? Huh? Why are you calling me? It's 3am!"

Loren Pechtel said...

I sympathize with you about time zones. I'm married to a woman from China--and most of her relatives over there have never traveled far from home. It's not been easy educating them about time zones and it would have been much worse if the cost of calling didn't keep the calls down.

 
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