Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Tuesday morning, 1:09 a.m.

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."

Anna Flaxis: "Hi, I saw you last week, and you gave me a prescription for Nitrocin? I think I'm having an allergic reaction to it."

Dr. Grumpy: "What's going on?"

Anna Flaxis: "Since then I've been very lightheaded, and I've noticed some weird bumps on my hands and face, and I just don't feel well."

Dr. Grumpy: "When did you last take a dose?"

Anna Flaxis: "I haven't yet."

Dr. Grumpy: "You haven't taken any today?"

Anna Flaxis: "I haven't taken any at all. I dropped the script off at Pill Haus, but haven't had a chance to get back there."

Dr. Grumpy: "So you haven't even started it?"

Anna Flaxis: "No, and I'm not going to, either. I mean, if just having you prescribe the drug makes me feel this way, I hate to think what actually taking it will do."

16 comments:

Mal said...

Wait, now you're a homeopath as well as a yak herder?



Anonymous said...

Just when you think people are incredibly stupid, they prove you right.

a.generic doc said...

I've had patients with the opposite effect. "Doc, the last time I got that antibiotic prescription I was better before I even walked out of the office. "

Anonymous said...

(In my best commercial actor voice) That's not how this works.... That's not how any of this works...

macHerb said...

ESPrescription. Could save money on patient drugs.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like the Heebie Jeebies.

Anonymous said...

And these people are allowed to reproduce, drive a car and vote?
BTW: I love the name-joke!

Karen said...

She needs a head doc alright, just went to the wrong one. ESPmedicine at it's best!!

Packer said...

I am thinking presents a danger to herself and others.

Anon@8:34, I just read in the paper this morning that only 22% of the registered voters in NJ voted last month in the general election. So, your comment explains a whole lot of things for me. Maybe they are not only allowed to vote, but they probably insist on voting.

Jono said...

Anna Flaxis! bwahahahahaha!

The Condign Gentleman said...

"But as long as I have you on the phone, can you say the name of an antihistamine? It would make me feel a lot better."

Luckymom22 said...

This warrants the response I see my teens give one another once in awhile: "Um, wut."

Anonymous said...

Very unfortunate. Victim of psychogenic television hyperadvertising. Hope she gets better soon.

I'd think about a prescribing cinnamon-flavored bread pills Q 3 hrs ATC. Gradually decreasing the excipients and increasing the active agent dose to BID or as FDA-approved dosing regimen. Maybe your friendly compounding pharmacist can help you with this?

Of course, I'm joking, but in an alternate universe ...

When I first graduated pharmacy school, physicians could write on the script "Do not label", in other words 'do not tell the patient the patient what this is'? And, pharmacists were required by law NOT to tell what they were dispensing?

Still, and all. Head On and other OTC 'entities' can be sold across state lines as 'food' and regulated under laws requiring products to be manufactured in a clean environment, not contain filth, and not be poison or associated with a certain amount of deaths. (Though, I don't know if Metabolife could be sued and subject to recall if it did contain unlabeled tree nuts.) I mean, you'd be silly to sue Little Debbie if your Creamy Halloween Pumpkin Snack Cake did not contain any amount of legitimate pumpkin, now, would you? But, the FDA could initiate a nationwide recall if it did contain undeclared milk or peanuts, which are considered 'allergens' and must be noted on all labeling, since an allergic reaction would have to be medically treated.

I wonder what Ms Flaxis' drug allergy list looks like.

The massive online industry with products available in gas stations everywhere of these agents do NOT have to comply with GRASE laws, though, "Generally Recognized As Safe and Effective" if they call their products 'food'.

Placebo 250 mcg is recognized as GRASE (generally recognized as safe and effective) in about 30% of cases of psychogenic pain? That's why I always allow my inner smirk full reign when patients tell me marijuana is sooooo effective, and wonder at the non-licensed banking industry rejects that set up their businesses touting the purity of their THC. Yeah. Right.

Anonymous said...

You... you made that up. Didn't you? Please tell me the gene pool doesn't have an end that shallow.

tbunni said...

The part that worries me is that he DIDN'T make it up.... As far as the gene pool goes, not only is it extremely shallow, for a few of our fellow beings it is down to one drop of water.

Can I put in for a change of species, please?

Mari-Ann said...

As one of my co-workers said recently, "You can't throw a rock around here without hitting stupid." It became one of my favorite phrases immediately!

 
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