Monday, December 21, 2015

Gift guide 2015

We all have that narcissistic acquaintance who thinks the world actually gives a shit about what they're doing, where they are, and what they're eating at any given moment. Those subscribing to their Twitter and Instagram accounts are treated to a never ending stream of food, street signs, tables, weather conditions, toilet paper marks, and other pointlessly mundane information about their everyday life.

So what's the ideal gift for that person? Well, I'm sure they think that, in a world as insane as ours, someone out there is just dying to watch them eat breakfast cereal up close and personal.

So why not get them the selfie spoon?


This life-altering device allows you to attach a smart phone to the end of your spoon and happily film yourself sucking down cereal, soup, ice cream, oatmeal, and pretty much anything else you can eat with a spoon. Every slurp and close-up of something caught in your teeth is captured and broadcast to your worldwide followers.

This concludes the 2015 gift guide. Please keep sending the ideas in as you find them, as there's always next year. I'll be off for the next 2 weeks, and wish all a happy celebration of whatever they choose.




16 comments:

jimbo26 said...

Hope you and the family have a nice time .

bobbie said...

Merry Winter Solstice!!

Anonymous said...

But how do you fit that into your nostril?

Anonymous said...

Happy holidays Dr. Grumpy!

Anonymous said...

Make sure to remove your phone before you put it in the dishwasher. Or, better yet, don't remove it.

Anonymous said...

Coming for a limited time only- the McGoPro!

Anonymous said...

Gag me with a... oh, never mind.

Anonymous said...

(Only if it comes with photoshop apps. I am shy about the broccoli, pieces of cabbage, and apple bits that inevitably shows up, and do not like people to look at my unbrushed teeth.)

Happy, festive, festivus, indeed! And, merry merry, too.

a.generic doc said...

Is there a matching fork in case I want a picture of myself eating something that doesn't use a spoon?

charles said...

Why on earth would I subscribe to a narcissistic acquaintance's twitter or other social media ramblings?

The only "social media" that is worth reading is, of course, Dr. Grumpy!

Enjoy the time with your family and loved ones Doc. And, have fun rounding up those yaks that got out of their pen again.

oh dear said...

Posted it to a friend about how self absorbed you'd have to be to want this... and one of my friends was bugging me where to get one.... fail.

Mage said...

Now that's a great idea. And Charles obviously doesn't have grandchildren. LOL
Happy whatever to you.

Anonymous said...

For the heroin addict who has everything...

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Wow, I can't wait to start measuring out my life with one of these babies...

Mark p.s.2 said...

I love the Festivus gift note

Anonymous said...

Looks too much like a speculum (and, not the ornithological definition, either). It'd give me the willies. If someone gave me this as a gift, I'd regift it quickly. (Gag me with a sp... .)

 
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