Monday, December 7, 2015


Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mr. Panic: "My wife needs to get in RIGHT AWAY! She was at the hospital yesterday, and they told her to follow-up with Dr. Grumpy this week!"

Mary: "Okay... The only opening I have left this week is Friday morning at 8:30."

Mr. Panic: "FRIDAY?!!! That's 4 days away! Don't you have anything sooner? She really needs to get in ASAP!"

Mary: "No, we don't, but the schedule changes a lot, and someone may cancel. How about I call you if anything opens up?"

Mr. Panic: "PLEASE! I'm worried about her!"

They hang up. 1 minute later:

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mrs. Mom: "Hi, I have an appointment at 1:30 today, and my kid cracked a tooth at school. I have to take him to the dentist. I need to cancel. Can I call back tomorrow to reschedule?"

Mary: "Sure. I'll take you off here. Hope your son is okay."

Mrs. Mom: "Thanks, I'll call in the morning."

They hang up. 1 minute later:

Mr. Panic: "Hello?"

Mary: "Hi, Mr. Panic. It's Mary, at Dr. Grumpy's office. I spoke to you a minute ago about getting your wife in before Friday, and we just had a spot open up for today, at 1:30."

Mr. Panic: "1:30... No, we're going over to the casino this afternoon. It's the 'Monday Madness' slot tournament."


Heidi said...

I'm all too familiar with the two versions of ASAP.

There is the ASAP-move-heaven-and-earth-to-get-us-in used in calls TO the office...and then there's the ASAP-but-not-if-it-interferes-with-our-plans we encounter when making the effort to accommodate.

Wait. Actually, there is a third version. The one I use when fielding BS marketing cold calls: "I'll give them your message ASAP." I doubt that needs further explanation.

Shae said...

That third one is As Soon As Pigsfly, right?

clairesmum said...

interesting priorities he has. wonder why the patient was letting HIM make the appointment decisions....

Whelk Lad! said...

"Fortunately, it's only her left side that's paralyzed, so she can still play the machine."

Anonymous said...

"We've been training for this all year. And if playing through injury is good enough for the NFL, it's good enough for Monday Madness."

Packer said...

Baby need a new pair of shoes...............

charles said...

But, but, but, they just WON the lottery by having a time slot open up! They should take their wins where they get them.

Anonymous said...

Hey all you cynical sams, maybe they actually NEEDED to go to the casino (to win money to pay for their copay).

Anonymous said...

"Our manager says that, if we win this tournament, we have a shot at moving up to the nationals. It's not just about us; we have our sponsors and our fans to think of."

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