Friday, December 19, 2014
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A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Blog Archive
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2014
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December
(19)
- Heading west
- Weekend reruns
- Quote du jour
- Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
- Trivial Pursuit
- Commas. There's a reason.
- Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
- Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
- Hi, honey, I'm home.
- Just add reindeer!
- Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
- Picture quiz
- December 7, 1941
- Great online ratings
- Dieting
- Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
- Head desk
- Brave New World
- Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
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December
(19)
18 comments:
I hope he doesn't have APL.
Well.. they would have a reaction..
Did you ask them if they were allergic to higher wave energies in large doses or if they react negatively to immersion and super saturation of dihydrogen monoxide?
Is he/she also allergic to old lace?
Excuse me, sir. Captain Pedantic would like to remind you that most people consume arsenic just about every day. It's probably in your drinking water, unless you're actively filtering it. It's commonly found in things like apple juice and there was a big deal a couple years ago about it showing up in rice - no surprise, given that rice is grown practically underwater.
Once again you think you're being hilarious at the expense of actual science. You want people to think, "Hahaha, Mr Stupid thinks he's allergic to poison!" when the truth may be that he's actually sensitive to a common trace metal.
p.s. I am too a robot. SO THERE. NYAH.
Moose has a point. It is perfectly reasonable for this patient to be able to narrow his sensitivity down to arsenic. Just to be a devils advocate though maybe it is hydrogen or oxygen since those are in the water too. Like they always say, a little science...
I meant to say 'unobtanium'- I'm allergic to unobtanium. Yeah, that's it. I'm actually very allergic to unobtanium.
I suspect that it is not a real allergy so much as it is a reduced tolerance. I tell people I am allergic to The Real Housewives of LA/ NJ? NY/ Atlanta but it is not a real allergy, just a reduced tolerance that makes me sick.
So are we all.
so put them on a low arsenic (broccoli) diet
You know, if the reaction is 'hives' or 'pinkie on left hand twitches', this could be a very useful piece of information for a lonely old man who finds his twice elderly landladies attractive. Sort of a 'canary in the coal mine' type of effect. On the other hand, if it is as Moose warns, this lonely old man could find himself experiencing a lot of 'hives' or 'twitchy pinkies'?
Arsenic was actually listed as an ingredient on a bottled water I purchased while at the beach a few years ago. I was amused. Drank it anyway.
And I'm not a robot, either. I am very impressed that I was actually able to read the captcha this time! Usually it takes me at least 5 tries.
One of my faves:
"Allergic to succinylcholine"
Reaction: irritable
Well I personally have a sensitivity to cyanide. I also think im allergic to midazolam, because it makes me sleepy. Also profile. That makes me REALLY sleepy. Yeah.
(I obviously meant propofol)
Speaking of allergies, I'm deeply allergic to guillotine. It gies me a strange feeling of dissociation. Do you have a solution?
I was about to do a fine needle aspiration on a patient.
Me: any allergies?
Him: ...pain.
Some guys just can't hold their arsenic...
maybe they were talking about small lacerations of the backside
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