Monday, September 1, 2014

Holiday reruns

I'm checking out at the store.

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Oh, hi Dr. G! How ya doin'?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Oh, uh, fine, um, I didn't recognize you when I got in line."

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Yeah, I'm workin' at Local Grocery now. Ya got a Shopper's Card?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Here, thanks."

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Lemme ring this up. Looks like you're havin' burgers. Paper or plastic?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Yeah, I guess. Paper."

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Ya know, my back is still killin' me, and it goes down my right leg."

Dr. Grumpy: "Oh, why don't you call Mary and..."

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Some days it goes around into my groin, too. Got any coupons?"

Dr. Grumpy: "No..."

(Lady in line behind me grabs her basket and runs for her life)

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Sometimes it burns, ya know, like I have a rash going down my butt and the leg. That'll be $18.73. Credit or debit?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Credit."

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Can you sign here? And then when I look, there's no rash, it just feels that way."

Dr. Grumpy: "You should call Mary tomorrow and..."

Mr. Lumberpain: "Nice seein' ya, doc. Hi, lady. Ya got a Shopper's card?"


peace said...

That is similar to medical students conversations' before major exams.
You know you are stressed, you know you should de stress and have normal chats but you got no time to hear their reply

Anonymous said...

Some people feel free to talk to anyone about anything just anywhere. Good thing you're not into infectious diseases or proctology in this case, eh? Happy Labor Day.

Peter B said...

The punchline of a doctors' joke from my grandfathers' heyday had its response for patients like Mr. Lumbarpain:

"Take off your clothes; I'll examine you here."

Wouldn't work these days. They'd take you up on it.

Shellye said...

Perhaps I'm just a strange person, but when I see my doctor or doctors (I have so many) out and about, I don't feel inclined to discuss my medical issues in public, or in the presence of strangers. Maybe I'm just not as outgoing as some people. *shrugs* And like the lady who took her items and ran, I would do the same thing if I stumbled upon such a discussion. I certainly don't go to the grocery store to hear about groin pain.

My mum is a nurse, and people she had taken care of at the hospital would often approach her and share such things with her while we were out and about. (The majority of them were elderly.) I recall some of the strangest conversations at the grocery store and the pharmacy. Living in a small town made it worse, because running into people was an everyday occurrence.

Have a Happy Labor Day, Dr. Grumpy.

Anonymous said...

Or worse, Peter B. You'd get sued for sexual harassment.

Anonymous said...

How were the paper burgers?

markm said...

Shellye: Too many of the elderly don't have much to talk about besides their ailments. Apparently they retire, and then they wait to die...

Anonymous said...

This is the real deal!, Dr. Grumpy.
The folks writing for the sitcoms should be embarrassed.

Denise Perry said...

When my sister was doing her externship, she took the bus. She was waiting once, and this guy saw her wearing scrubs and asked if she was a nurse. She said no, she's a medical assistant.

So the guy pulls up his shirt, shows her an open stab wound, and asks how it looks.

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