Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Hawaiian vacation, day 10

My favorite memory from my first Maui trip (1973) is of a dog.

Dad was driving us down some side street while Mom looked at a map (yes, kids, that's what people did before GPS). As we rolled along, we came to a Golden Retriever lying across the middle of the road. The street was narrow, with no way around him.

So Dad drove on, figuring at some point the dog would get out of the way. No such luck. He was, apparently, quite comfortable.

As we approached, Fido raised his head off the ground to look the car over... Then put it back down.

Dad stuck his head out the window and yelled. No response.

He honked the horn several times. Fido's left ear twitched.

Finally, Mom got out of the car and went around to nudge him. He rolled over on his back with an "OH BOY! YOU'RE GOING TO RUB MY BELLY" look.

Finally, Dad gave up. He backed slowly out of the side street and turned around to find another route. My sister and I watched as a bird landed on the sidewalk and Fido took off after it.

As it turns out, this is pretty much the way dogs are on Maui. Nothing fazes them. No matter how laid back you think your dog is, a dog on Maui will make him seem high-strung. They are remarkably mellow. The scuba place we dived with had a dog named Sarge, who pretty much had the run of the strip mall.

He spent the day wandering around the parking lot and in & out shops there, and no one cared. In fact, he seemed to have a small fan club, like the postman and others, who tossed him treats as they went by.

Equally important, he also provided surrogate dog services to people whose pets were back home. And was more than happy to do so.

Marie and Sarge. He looks vicious, huh?

After scuba diving, Marie asked if we could go to Subway for lunch. Marie's favorite sandwich there (roast beef, tuna, and cheese) always raises a few eyebrows.

Counter lady: "What can I get you?"

Marie: "I'll have roast beef and tuna, with cheese."

Counter lady: "Sorry. Can't do that. It's against company policy to combine roast beef and tuna."

Marie: "But I get that at home"

Counter Lady: "Well, they should know better."

Marie: "You can't do it?"

Counter Lady: "No. It's probably a health code violation or something, too."

Marie: "Let's go, Daddy."

We ended up down the street at L&L for a plate lunch.This is a Hawaiian thing. Regardless of what you order, it always comes with 2 scoops of white rice and one of macaroni salad.

Down the street from our condo is a restaurant with the unusual name of Slappy Cakes. This immediately brings to mind an image of getting smacked by the hostess when you go in.

Curious, I looked them up online. The theme is that you cook your own pancakes. I, personally, have never understood this concept. If I'm going out to eat, I'm paying for you to make it for me. I'll stay home if I want to cook.

The setup consists of a large griddle set in the middle of each table, making me imagine someone getting 3rd degree burns while passing the syrup. Their menu, however, does list the admirable feature of serving cocktails at breakfast for those who like to watch Matt Lauer while blitzed. One is called the "Slappy Screw," which sounds like something a guy would spend $50 on in the Honolulu red-light district.

They also feature such heart-healthy fare as chicken-fried bacon and pork-belly benedict. Like every place here, they also have a Loco Moco (called the Slappy Moco). This is a pile of white rice, with a hamburger patty on top, then mushroom gravy, then a fried egg.

At the bottom of Slappy's menu is this great "We told you so, so don't sue us" legal disclaimer:

Tabletop griddles are hot! Please use carefully at your own risk. For safety reasons, children must stay seated and not reach across griddle. 

Because, you know, small children ALWAYS do exactly as they're told.

This afternoon, while hanging out in the lobby, Frank wandered over to one of those tourist brochure displays. After a few minutes he pulled one out, brought it over to me, and asked "Dad, can we go to this luau?"

Dude. I'd be staring, too.

This is part of the fun of traveling with teenage boys. Pretty much EVERYTHING gets their attention. Even ceiling lights.

And that's the lei it is.

Disclaimer - none of the above restaurants paid me to write about them. But I am, however, for sale. Someone, please, buy me.


tbunni said...

Surrogate dog services: that's what I need to tell people. For various reasons (mainly the cats would leave us forever) my husband and I can't have dogs. But we LOVE dogs. Perfect way to explain.

As for the ceiling lights - yeah, that's exactly what is in our bedroom. Took some getting used to, waking up under those. But I guess that's why my husband always wakes up and smiles.... Being married is pretty much like having a teenage boy forever.

Anonymous said...

"Slappy- for those times when you feel like doing it yourself."

Moose said...

What makes a place that lets you make your own pancakes more awful than, say, a Korean BBQ place where you cook your own food on a hot griddle, or a 'mongolian' bbq place where you pick out a crapload of food and 'cooks' dump it on a giant grill for you, or, for crying out loud, even any of the styles of "cook food in near-boiling broth" whether it's shabu-shabu or some fondue chain?

Nothing, you're going to say, except humor. Yes, you think you're being funny again.

According to Slappy Cakes' website they have a branch in Portland, Oregon, so you don't have to fly halfway across the ocean to find one.

bunkywise said...

My husband thinks peanut butter and dill pickle on rye is the best sandwich ever so I shouldn't be horrified at Marie's roast beef and tuna but yet, I am.

Anonymous said...

"Man, check out the Slappy Cakes on HER..."

--The guy in the postcard

Just Me said...

We do have a slappy cakes in Portland Oregon and it's a blast! yes you are paying ridiculous fees to cook your own breakfast, but you also get to pay to have someone chop up all the toppings for you and the griddles are perfect temp. Hey- it's Portland. We also have a waffle window...

Anonymous said...

Looking at the guy in the postcard made me think, now there's a student
of anatomy for ya!

Denise Perry said...

Bunkywise: but PB&Pickle is fantastic!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like the Grumpy family stayed at or near the same condo we did although we did not have the pleasure of running into any surrogate dogs. And Slappy Cakes! My husband and I finally stopped in because we could not get over the name. We ate there twice and never had pancakes but the other menu items were delicious and so were the cocktails. Just love reading your vacay recaps!

Anonymous said...

Note to self...don't be eating cashews while reading Dr. Grumpy's blog. The picture of the ceiling lights had me laughing and choking at the same time.

Natalia AL said...

My husband eats white rice with cottage cheese on top. I refuse to accept this as a reasonable combination and no longer buy cottage cheese and cook rice at the same time.

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