Dr. Grumpy: "Well, your homocysteine level was high, and..."
Mr. Biochem: "That's impossible! I'm not gay!"
Friday, September 30, 2011
Biochemistry FAIL
Dr. Grumpy: "Well, your homocysteine level was high, and..."
Mr. Biochem: "That's impossible! I'm not gay!"
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19 comments:
Haha.
“and don’t you make me drink that damn Arab coffee either-we’re fighting them turban-wearers.”
Some people...
"Sorry, sir, but scientific tests don't lie. This pamphlet should answer some of your questions."
"I don't know sir, your peripheral smear was FULL of Auer rods."
I was laughing so hard it turned into a coughing fit!
You mean it's that easy to diascover? Who knew?
Groooooooooan ~
"And I don't touch that homogenized milk, either!"
Well that's one mystery solved.
Next, ask if he can solve The Mystery of the Sleeping Green Ghost. The Hardy Boys & Scooby Doo are waiting!
And when you told him is heterophile test was negative, did he protest even more?
Michelangelo's homocysteine level must have been through the roof!
Just precious, where is Art Linkletter when yah need him....
The future of Homo sapiens is, oh, soooo bright!
Cysteines are gay! That's what the disulfide bond is!
Maybe for him you should call it heterocysteine.
Coulda pronounced it 'hammmesteen' with the emphasis on the second syllable and started a mid-eastern crisis, or patient diatribe agains zionism?
(Score one for being up front with the truth for your patient! At least you didn't tell him, you wouldn't understand if I told you. Seriously, though, Dr. Grumby, how many of your patients know what a homocysteine level is?)
I remember as a patient lying on gurney in the radiology department, asking the orderly what they were looking for, and the reply was 'atrophy' of such and such. With my glasses on, I knew immediately what was being discussed, but without them, not only was my hearing affected, but IQ, and I kept turning the word over and over in my mind. 'Atrophy' hmm 'atrophy'; without a trophy? Or did the orderly say without a troche, or maybe without a troika? Did I hear 'atopy', or was I undergoing diagnostic X-rays for determining if I had too much antipathy? Did my condition relate to apostrophe or trojans? (He did say atrophy, right?)
Guess, rules about confidentiality and other people reading one's chart have changed a little in the last 40 years.
I have had elevated homocysteine levels for years. I also have low folic acid & B12 so my labs are checked often (my HDL and LDL an TRI's are stellar); anyway, when we go over my next set of labs in a few weeks I just may need to "try that out" on my PCP and record his reaction. It sure would be funny to see his facial expression and than hear the wise ass comment he throws back at me.
"Well, obviously your sexual orientation is changing, sir."
You should have said, "well the blood work says you are so just accept it!!"
"We all have a bit of it in us, sir."
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