Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Marital Counseling

Mr. Joyful came in to follow-up on his back pain today. A few minutes into the appointment his cell phone rang. He reached over and pushed the speaker-phone button.


Mr. Joyful: "This is Ed."

Lady Joyful: "Are you at the doctor's yet?"

Mr. Joyful: "I'm here right now. You're interrupting. What do you want?"

Lady Joyful: "I'm reminding you to talk to him about your anger problems."

Mr. Joyful: "I don't have anger problems. YOU'RE the one with the problems. Like that's anything new!"

Lady Joyful: "Look, Ed. You've been an ass recently, and he needs to give you some happy pills or something."

Mr. Joyful: "No, bitch, you have the problems. I'm fine, except for having to deal with you."

Lady Joyful: "Oh, like it's a pleasure to have to deal with a prick like you. If I have the problems, how come everyone else says you're the one with the issues?"

Mr. Joyful: "By everyone else you mean your dirtball mother?"

Lady Joyful: "Don't bring my mother into this! At least she's not serving time, like your mom!"

Mr. Joyful reached over and hung up the phone.

Mr. Joyful: "Anyway, Doc, the physical therapy didn't help my back at all."

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

So you're not really in private practice, you work at General Hospital?

medrninja said...

Is there any way you could bill, just for having to've listened to that?

Mrs. Higrens said...

medrninja - Bill for that? Dr. Grumpy should pay the patient for providing such comedy gold.

Moki said...

You do have to give Mr. Joyful some credit for keeping the conversation short, making sure it's too the point, keeping his conversation with Dr. Grumpy to the point, and not needing immediate counseling services (whine whine whine wife whine whine thanks for listening, doc!)from Dr. Grumpy.

Old MD Girl said...

I'm with ninja. There must be a CPT code you can use to bill for that. If there isn't, you should invent a "putting up with jackass" code.

Swami Dil said...

You need to check the lower part of his back........that's where the pain really is!

Sarah G said...

There really ought to be a surcharge for 'Aggravation value'. I understand waitresses also long for this surcharge.

Cthulhu Sashimi said...

So Ed Anger from the Weekly World News is your patient? (And it sounds like his wife is "Dear Dotti.")

Anonymous said...

Hey Doc, sounds to me like they were trying to score some pain pills. Half the people in the country are walking around looped on pain pills and that is how they get them. So how many did you give him ? The happy pills I mean. Nobody goes out for a walk, or rides a bike or plays with a puppy, they just go to Doc and say their back hurts and the pain needs to go away--pill em up. Me ilike walking the dog.

donna said...

So Doc is my husbands back okay?

OMG! They need a divorce before someone else goes to jail!! I hope
the day got better!

Anonymous said...

so many patients let me forget my own silly problems. wv:mates

Moose said...

I'm sure you know, Doc, that stress will aggravate your back pain. And your patient's, too.

And to Cthulhu Sashimi: I MISS THE WWN! I had a subscription for *years*. I used to wrap presents in it, which was always a huge hit!

Anonymous said...

this guy is the perfect patient for medical marijuana. solves both problems.

Maha said...

Now there's a relationship to emulate :P

Chrysalis Angel said...

It would have been interesting if you had written him a script for his wife to get "off his back!" Then the poor guy would have some pain relief.

Have Myelin? said...

I'm with Anonymous, write him a recommendation for medical marijuana. LOL.

ERP said...

Time to refer this guy elsewhere....

Anonymous said...

wow, I don't know who's worse, her for saying that to him, or him answering the phone during an appointment AND putting it on speaker phone...I couldn't imagine me ever answering my phone during an appointment, I always put it on silent...BUT, what are happy pills?? and where can I get some?? Do I just ask my doctor for pills that make me happy??? not that I'm unhappy, but they sound interesting and I could always just take them during family get togethers, lol...

Cara said...

oye! Why do people fight in public? So rude...and uncomfortable. I worked as a veterinary technician for a year and a half and I will never forget this older couple who would argue in front of me, but act really cute and nice to one another when the DVM was present. It was so awkward to hear them call each other stupid one mintue and then 'honey' or 'sweetheart' the next.

Anonymous said...

cara- alarm bells- patients who are rude with staff and mellow with the doc.

 
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