He kept referring to he and his wife as having "a traditional Christmas", which apparently landed him in the hospital. "Traditional" obviously varies from person to person. Here is how Mr. Traditional and his wife spent their traditional Christmas (and it took A LOT of coaxing to get the whole story out).
They woke up on Christmas morning. Then:
They had a traditional cup of coffee. Then:
They had a traditional exchange of gifts. Then:
They had several traditional shots of scotch. Then:
They smoked a few traditional joints. Then:
They did a few traditional lines of cocaine. Then:
She gave him a traditional under-the-mistletoe blowjob. Then:
When he blew his traditional load he had sudden onset of the-worst-headache-of-his-life (not a tradition).
He was taken to ER, where he had a traditional head CT, MRI, and MRA (having to drag in an MRI tech on Christmas).
So then he had a traditional spinal tap. Which was equivocal, because he wouldn't hold still.
So then the angiogram team got called in on Christmas.
So then he had a traditional 4-vessel cerebral angiogram, complicated by bleeding and a BIG hematoma at the groin puncture site (yeah, your wife's gonna love that thing next to your yule log, dude).
The admitting doc then felt a second traditional spinal tap was needed.
And that's how Mr. Traditional spent his Christmas.
When I met him (and his charming wife) this morning he asked me if I'd ever seen a case like this before.
I gave him my traditional answer. You guys can guess.